MN Manmacker's mansploitation
Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.
Eventually Thumper and Jamella got to dancing to the buttnugget rock pooping outta the speakers, shit, music got so bad in the last thirty-four years, what happened? Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.
But Thumper and Jamella was both proper niggas, not Kenyans, so they danced like ain’t nothing matter. Rico was much too cool to dance. He sat at the table drinking his whatever like a lonely lasagna.
From Deep on the Downlow
“You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That’s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out.
“I don’t wanna fuck with Jamella,” Rico said. Thumper ain’t tell him he set up a threesome til it was too late for Rico to back out.
“Uh-huh,” Thumper said with a shrug. “You don’t gotta enjoy it. Get drunk first. It’ll be okay. You can just lick her pussy while I fuck her-“
“Ewwwcck, no way!”
“You ain’t lemme finish, nigga,” Thumper said. He waited until Rico quieted his frown, then Thumper said, “You can lick her pussy while I fuck her gooo-ood.”
“I ain’t doin’ that,” Rico said. He shook his head like a owl. “No way. That’s so nasty.”
“You don’t lick pussy?”
“Not while a old nigga is fuckin’ it!”
“Aw, c’mon, nigga. I’ll let you slurp on my dick,” Thumper said.
“No!” Rico screwed up his face like a screw. “I wanna go to a New Year’s party,” he said. “I’m sure there’s a bunch. I saw some on LocalNights.” Rico paused. “That’s that app-“
“What’d I say ’bout tellin’ me to get a app-?” Thumper wagged his finger at Rico.
“I didn’t say to download it! I just said what it is!” He threw his hands up.
“You is — shit, nigga — I don’t wanna hear about no app! I wanna do things the right way!”
“Okay, okay, okay-“
Thumper side-eyed Rico. “Watchin’ videos of other niggas playing video games, shit, nigga…”
“I’m not, I didn’t! I didn’t put that on!” Rico said. He gestured to the teevee, which was off. “Damn, old nigga!”
“You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That‘s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out. “You can’t back out now.”
“It’s not backing out, I never agreed! I You only just told me.”
“That’s right, I told you.” Thumper grabbed Rico’s ass through his clean jeans. His white bitch was with her girlfriends tonight. They got a New Year’s Eve tradition, and it don’t involve sucking Rico’s dick, so he got nothing to do.
“Get off me, old nigga!” Rico said, slapping Thumper’s hand away. “I’s serious, that old bitch is ugly! I don’t wanna fuck her!”
“I’ll turn the lights off,” Thumper said. And he meant that too. Jamella weren’t ugly, but she was prettier in the dark. He ain’t yet say that Rico was gonna hafta lick her asshole to open it up, so Thumper could fuck it. Thumper do that hisself most times, but he was tired of the taste, and Rico got a nice clean tongue.
From Deep on the Downlow
It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist.
Inside the apartment, Jamella said something incomprehensivish and snuggled onto the couch, where she fell asleep fast as a drunk bitch on a couch. Thumper stood there like a disappointed nigga with a hardon and a sigh lingering in his lungs.
“What’s wrong?” Rico asked. He done microwave up a “uncrustable”. You hearda that? It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but it comes frozen and don’t got no crust on the bread. It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist. A uncrustable is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for niggas whose mamas don’t love ‘em. Weak as lipton tea. Shit’s bullshit, nigga.
From Deep on the Downlow
Lipton tea and Uncrustables are trademarks of the whoever, I dunno, look it up yourselves, dumbasses.
He was watching Shark Tank and eagered to see the result of the pitch, so he went back to the teevee then. Honky bitch both invented and was a high-protein cracker.
He was watching Shark Tank and eagered to see the result of the pitch, so he went back to the teevee then. Honky bitch both invented and was a high-protein cracker.
From Deep on the Downlow
The jawn was bumping. It was nice that they ain’t gotta walk nowhere, just go down the stairs and boop, there they was, in Lipsweet, surrounded by girls in tight things that showed off they other things. They got asses too!
Girls got nice asses now! Asses got better in the thirty-four years Thumper was in prison. Tits is flabbier though, and lips got worse. Why did lips even change?
And eyebrows!? Back before, ain’t no man ever notice a woman’s eyebrows. Shit, if you surveyed men, they wouldn’t even remember if women got eyebrows. But women done spent the last thirty-four years coming up with innovative and unattractive things to do to they eyebrows.
From Deep on the Downlow
Frowning spread like a bat virus while Thumper was locked up. Young folks be frowning at everything. Dissatisfaction rained like a queen’s pee-pee.
Rico’s eyes went open wide. “What if I wanna fuck a bitch?”
Thumper shrugged. “If she down, we’ll double-tap her. Thwack-thwack. That’s our balls slappin’ togethuh, nigga. Mine’s the louder sound. Thwack-thwack-“
“Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-” Rico was doing his best impression of a broken record. But Thumper got no time for naysaying.
Bet nobody even knows what a “broken record” is no more. Thumper asked Rico how a nigga listen to music nowadays, and Rico stopped his complaining about the bed long enough to give a very complicated answer. It was basically “on the phone”, nigga gotta call into some cloud or something. He kept saying “I Heart Radio”, but then when Thumper said there was music on the radio, Rico reacted like Thumper just lit a baby on fire.
He was mad on the frown train. Rico was a conductor on that train. He frowned at every single thing Thumper took outta his duffel bag. Thumper’s clothes was old and faded and mouse-nibbled, which made Rico double his frown. Thumper’s soap was in bar form, which Rico said was old-fashioned and awful — apparently a enlightened modern-day nigga do use “body wash” — that led to another doubling of Rico’s frown. Thumper had a box of tea, which Rico said only elderly honkies drank. Rico’s frown was exponential by then.
That turned out to be a theme with young people. Frowning spread like a bat virus while Thumper was locked up. Young folks be frowning at everything. Dissatisfaction rained like a queen’s pee-pee.
From Deep on the Downlow
Thumper was distracted by the waitresses. Lipsweet stay hiring the best waitresses — bunchesa ’em too, thronging. Thronging like commas, nigga.
Thumper was distracted by the waitresses. Lipsweet stay hiring the best waitresses — bunchesa ’em too, thronging. Thronging like commas, nigga.
He ain’t barely seen a woman in three decades. The waitresses in Lipsweet wore tight little miniskirts that they bits was bursting outta. The one of ‘em, a blonde, got tits like juicy tornados, Thumper was besotted with them curves. Thumper got the ogle-eye, and he got it bad. It felt good though. He dragged along behind as Carson went to the back corridor, and Thumper kept his peepers trained on the females until he couldn’t see ’em no more.
From Deep on the Downlow
Carson wore a nice shirt he buttoned up like a white man. Or maybe niggas did that now, shit’s bullshit.
He got showed to his new apartment by this nigga Carson, a bullet-shape darkskin homeboy who ran the Bloods of Allentown. Carson wore a nice shirt he buttoned up like a white man. Or maybe niggas did that now, shit’s bullshit. Back before, ain’t no nigga button up a shirt. Not a proper nigga anyway.
Maybe the top button, if you’s a California nigga. But Thumper don’t mess with the West Coast.
From Deep on the Downlow
When the legendary boxer Thumper White is released from prison, he never thought he’d be rooming up with a doe-eyed prettyboy named Rico! Neither of them will ever be the same. That’s cuz Thumper gets horny sometimes, and he don’t take no for an answer when it comes from a darkskin slice of handsome pie with a pile of alluring frowns on top!
Can Rico handle Thumper’s brand of downlow love?!
So Thumper walked all rappy-dapper, like his rickety walk was a gangsta lean, as he brought the other two to the back porch, where a sheet-curtained corner got a hole in the sheet and a nigga sticking his dick in that hole. That duckydoo nigga was moaning like a moist walrus when they got there, his voice breaking and him rabbit-ramming his crotch at the sheet.
His jiggly asscheeks was covered by his pants — he ain’t drop his pants, just undone the fly — a prudent nigga wouldn’t bare his butthole in a place like this — but that duckydoo nigga got giant meaty cheeks jiggling up a quake in them pants. “C’mon, swallow it, bitch, swallow, ah, fuck yeah… You slut…” he murmured with a sneer.
“There ain’t no pretty lady on the other side of that hole, Thump,” Jaekwel said when he and Deon added up what they was seeing and what Thumper done said. The ram-face nigga with his dick in the hole pulled it out, and his shaft gleamed with spit and droplets of his own nutjuice. He glanced over at Jaekwel and them like they was assholes for walking in here before he was done.From Thumper the Mover
