The Cops

Avery works at a coffee shop with a couple police officer regulars, and when they need some cash in a hurry, Avery is all too willing to help them out in exchange for a swing on their alpha-cop meat!

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Read the whole thing here!

The only reason anyone worked nights was that someone had to be there to receive deliveries. So they might as well be open. That someone was Avery. The delivery truck came anytime between two and six o’clock in the morning.
He didn’t mind working nights. He did hate how boring it was, but he liked being up at night. Most of the time, not a single customer came in before five o’clock. Aside from the delivery drivers, the raving homeless and an occasional cop, only two actual, civilian customers had ever come in between two and five in the morning.
So Avery was bored most of the time. Even when the delivery arrived, all he had to do was sign for it and watch the delivery guy drop the boxes off. That happened at the coffee shop all through the dawn. It was just boring enough to make Avery long for the comfort of his bed.
Then there was Officer Tripiani. He was a regular. The regular, really. He came in most nights for a cuppa coffee and a donut, and he usually wound up chatting with Avery. Avery found him compelling, and his sturdy physique attracted Avery’s eye. Tripiani was an olive-skinned dago with no neck and a well-muscled body — he was an amateur bodybuilder when he found time to lift weights, which wasn’t often. He was squat and tattooed, with a craggy chin and a thick mess of black hair.
Tripiani and usually one or two other cops sat in the coffeeshop to talk, usually around three o’clock in the morning. It was the closest thing to excitement Avery got to witness most of these night shifts. They never did anything interesting, but it was more compelling than the empty store.
“Yo, hey, yo, I’ll shake it as I walk ovuh there, if you get me a laage brew cawffee with cream, no sugaa,” said Officer Tripiani, in his smooth New Jersey stawk, accent that fit him like the fitted baseball cap he wore when he was off-duty. He spoke so suddenly, appearing behind Avery in the front door, that Avery yelped and jumped. His heart raced.
It took Avery a moment to realize what he had said. Officer Tripiani shook his ass like a stripper in Avery’s direction as he walked to the table where the other cops sat. They hooted and laughed, and Tripiani sat down.
Avery got him his coffee, and he put it down in front of him at the table. Tripiani’s broad shoulders stretched his shirt, and his cheeks burned a bright red.
“Hey, Avery, Trip here was hoping to kiss you on the lips-“
“You wanna make out? He just wants to cuddle-“
“You’s guys can go fuck yaselves,” Tripiani said. His dimples flashed a smile at Avery. “They’s just a buncha assholes, hon, don’t worry about ’em.”
They all burst into laughter. Avery blushed and walked away.
Something similar happened a couple days later, then a couple days after that. The other cops, pudgy as pillows, all of them, thought Tripiani’s muscular body was funny.
As a keen admirer of the male form, Avery didn’t object. He didn’t think Tripiani’s muscles were funny, he thought they were ideal. Avery would have gladly kissed and cuddled with Tripiani. But he rarely got more than a quick grope of his biceps or of the meat of his torso, which was hot and firm and usually a little moist with sweat, and Avery could feel his body hair underneath the fabric of his police uniform.
That was as far as it went until one morning, soon after midnight — that was earlier than the cops ever came in. Avery had only just come on duty.
Officer Tripiani stepped in. He smiled goofily. “Hey, man, uh… hey.” He looked around the shop. “I’m glad no one else is here.”
“Hi,” Avery said. He liked it when Tripiani came into the Darling Donuts. He had a warm solidity to him, and he made the whole place feel cozier.
“So, like… I’m trying to save some money, man, I got real financial problems. I got two ex-wives and three cars I’m making payments on,” he said. “It’s messed up, I don’t even got any of those three cars, I wrecked one, my wife wrecked one and she took the third.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So, I, uh, I gotta save some cash,” he said. “Or maybe make some money. You know what I mean?”
“Uh-huh.” Avery blushed because Tripiani came even closer. He could smell his toothpaste-scented breath.
“I thought, maybe… you might want me, y’know… I know you want it… I thought, like…” Tripiani blushed, leaned in and whispered in Avery’s ear. “You could jack me off, man.” He chuckled as Avery shuddered, his knees going weak. He instinctively reached out, grabbing Tripiani’s barrel-chested torso for support. Tripiani licked his lips. “You gimme free coffee every night when I come in here. I’ll let you jack me off as much as you want. Huh? Whatchoo think man?” He stepped even closer, his bulging crotch pressed against Avery’s thigh. “I know you want it, baby. Know dat! Know! Dat!” He snapped his fingers.
“Uh… Well… Isn’t that illegal?”
“Nah. Nah, don’t worry ’bout that, man. You just givin’ coffee to a friend. At worst, that’s misunderstandin’ ya store policy. And you just givin’ out handjobs to that friend, ain’t nothin’ wrong wit’ two sober, consentin’ adults doin’ the ol’ handy-tug tango, ya feel me, homeslice? So you see, there ain’t no crime goin’ on here.” He paused. “Don’t tell the other cops though. If they ask, tell ’em I don’t pay cuz I gots a tab on account of I did some work for the owner.”
“Okay.” Avery was in a trance. He ‘d been daydreaming about doing something similar, but he assumed Tripiani would turn him down.
Before he knew what was happening, they were in the bathroom in the back of the store. The door wasn’t closed so Avery could hear if someone came into the shop. Tripiani dropped his slacks and his boxers. His uniform shirt covered his cock though, until Avery reached underneath and pulled his foot-long dick out.
Trip raised his eyebrows like a cocky bastard. Avery stroked it slowly, while Trip threw his head back and moaned. His dick twitched right away in Avery’s hand.
“You have a giant cock,” Avery said. His free hand explored under Trip’s uniform shirt, massaging his muscles. Trip’s nostrils flared when Avery touched his nipple, but he didn’t make him stop.
“I know. You can tell people that part, tell ’em you begged me to see it and I whipped it out for you,” Officer Tripiani said. He chuckled.
Avery dropped to his knees. “Is it okay if I put my mouth on it?”
“Nah, nah, that’s sailors and convicts.” He bristled and sniffled. “And black guys.”
“Just the tip? Come on…” Avery blushed. He had never had to talk someone into dome before. He stroked more quickly as Trip sped up. Avery considered trying to slow Trip down, to prevent him from cumming too soon — that way he might let Avery jerk him off.
Tripiani smiled down at him. He began flexing his hips, fucking Avery’s hand like a pussy as precum began leaking down his shaft
“Hey, come on, use both hands, man…” He firmly guided Avery’s free hand to his dick as well, and Avery began stroking with both hands.
Trip had a nice, huge cock that pulsated in his fingers. Avery arranged his hands to jack him off right onto his face. Trip grinned at that, and moaned, his whole body twitching, muscles flexing beneath his uniform.
His pants, up to this point, had been bared just enough to let his cock come out through the fly of his boxers. But all of a sudden, the weight of his gun and utility belt made his pants fall to his ankles.
As if that was the trigger he was waiting for, Officer Tripiani moaned and writhed. He grabbed Avery’s head, pushed his mouth onto his cock, then grunted and laughed at himself like he hadn’t meant to do that.
“God, sorry-” His voice broke.
Avery got about a tenth of a second to taste to the tip of his dick as Tripiani rubbed the cocktip over his tongue, but then he just barely touched Avery’s lips. Finally he came like that, the tip of his dick right at the entrance to Avery’s mouth.
But since Avery wasn’t actually swallowing anything, his mouth wasn’t open, so all of Tripiani’s cum sprayed over Avery’s face and coated his lips. It dripped down his neck and onto his own uniform polo shirt.
“Ah, shit, ah, shit, ah, shit, man, you give good handjobs… Shit… lick it, okay? Shit, swallow it, no wait, just put the tip in ya mouth-” He was already mostly done orgasming when he said that, but Avery didn’t mind. He rammed his head down on Tripiani’s cock. “I mean, just a little, just slurp on it… I mean, don’t do nothing with it, but put it in your mouth… Just put it in your mouth a bit…”
It was too big to deep-throat, but Avery swallowed the first couple inches of it, getting Trip’s last few cumwads in his mouth. Trip shook as though it hurt, having one of the most animated orgasms Avery had ever seen, even grabbing the wall behind himself for support as he nutted.
Finally he was done. Avery giggled as he pulled off his cock. Since Trip had tried not to cum in Avery’s mouth, most of his semen had spilled. It now soaked Avery’s uniform polo shirt and Trip’s uniform slacks.
“Shit,” Trip said. “I’ve got spare pants out in the car. Can you go get them?”
Avery had to change his shirt too, but his coffee shop had a box of spare shirts in the back. Trip just stood there, pants around his ankles, gasping for air, still too overwhelmed to do much of anything. He hadn’t even taken his belt off yet even though he would need to in order to put clean pants on.
“I’ll go out there for you if you let me have a lick,” Avery said. “Just one lick.” He got back down on his knees. He made a big show of planting his tongue on the tip of Officer Tripiani’s cock, which made his whole body shake as it reawakened his orgasm, and then Avery licked all the way down his shaft, to his balls, and then he awkwardly crawled between Tripiani’s legs above his soaked pants — making Trip grunt and flare his nostrils, demanding again that Avery go get him pants — before he licked up Trip’s bare, hairy ass.
Avery had promised to only lick him once, but Avery intended to make that lick last as long as possible. Once Trip realized that, he sighed. Since he had still never taken his shirt off, Trip’s body was not easily accessible. Avery didn’t mind, licking him while moving his uniform out of the way so he could crawl back and forth between his legs.
Finally, Avery lost his balance and his tongue came off Trip’s asscheek. Trip sighed. “Okay, that was one lick. Damn, man, come on, go get my pants.”
Avery took the keys from him. “Okay, but one last rule. You gotta watch my ass as I walk away.” He didn’t verify, but he shook his ass and he was pretty sure Trip watched. Avery wondered if he could get Trip in his ass eventually.
He thought he could. It would just take a little time.
Luckily he had plenty of time. Tripiani came back most every night that he worked and sometimes even on his off nights. He always livened up Avery’s shifts.
Officer Tripiani was a friendly and charming man. Avery thought it might have been awkward to interact with him once he started giving him handjobs for free coffee — what a strange trade, Avery thought. But Tripiani was always charismatic, and he didn’t seem to be in the least bit awkward about it.
The other cops knew. Tripiani had said not to tell them, but it seemed Avery didn’t need to. They whispered about him, they made jokes about getting a free donut in exchange for letting him jerk him off. It was obvious Tripiani had told, or maybe they had guessed.
That only changed when Avery ran into Tripiani outside of the coffee shop. He was walking out of a nightclub on his night off. He snuck out into the alley, where he was blinded by flashing blue lights. There were cops right there on the main street. Avery came forward only to see that he was blocked, trapped in the alley by a cop car.
It was Officer Tripiani, standing there by his car with his partner, while another gaggle of cops pushed a trio of screaming Puerto Ricans into three separate cars. It looked like the Puerto Ricans had been drunkenly brawling just moments ago. Tripiani and his partner, Officer Heartley, were on crowd control, so they just watched as the other cops trundled off with perps in cuffs.
“Hey, Trip,” Avery said. “You wanna move your car? Or should I just shove it up your ass and tickle your prostate with it?” He paused and grinned. “Or should I just climb over the hood? I’ve had two drinks, not much but enough that climbing over a cop car might be difficult.”
“Oh, shit, Avery! Hey!” Tripiani threw his hands in the air. “Holy fuck!”
The black cop, Heartley, looked nervously at Avery. He bit his lip and shifted his weight. Tripiani looked at him and gestured towards Avery.
Heartley older than Tripiani, and he wasn’t a bodybuilder, so he didn’t have that squarish, blocky shape. But he was naturally thick-bodied, with a bristly mustache and a powerful frame that made Avery drool.
“You said you listen to hip hop, right, Avery?” Tripiani asked. Avery was trying to find a graceful way to climb over the cop car out of the alley, but it looked impossible from any angle. He would likely dent the hood any way he went, and he’d look like a clumsy imbecile.
“Yeah.”
“Heartley here is a rapper,” he said. “He raps, like Eminem-“
“Watch it.”
“He’s so good, he used, like, all the rhymes.”
“Man, shut up, Trip, we ain’t on a blind date,” Officer Heartley said. “I’m not a rapper. I just got this-“
“He is so a rapper. He rapped for me like an hour ago-“
“I’m not a rapper, Trip! I sing along with the radio too, I’m not a singer-“
“You didn’t just rap along with the radio, you were freestyling-” Officer Tripiani said.
“That don’t make me a rapper!” Heartley rolled his eyes. “Trip, just mind your own business.”
“My own business was not tellin’ you jack-shit. If you pay that bitch Kendra this month, it’s only because I ain’t mind my own business-“
“You don’t gotta talk me up like a fucking wingman!” Heartley said with a growl. He looked at Avery. “Look, ignore Trip, he’s a fucking retard. I ain’t like him — I know you give him handjobs.”
“Fuck you, Heartley!”
“I need two hundred dollars, man. If I don’t pay my child support on time… well, I’ve put men in handcuffs for less,” Heartley said. “So, uh… I was gonna come find you later-“
“No you wasn’t. You don’t know him, Heartley. I was going to help you, on account of me being so nice-“
“I knew which coffee shop he worked at-“
“He wouldn’t pay to jerk you off if you’re just some random stranger-“
“Oh like you’re some kinda of expert, Trip, come on! You know how often guys check me out? I’m a black man with a nice ass, I could get paid for a nut every time I go to the gym!” Heartley straightened his uniform. “Not like you, you fucking dago troglodyte.”
For a moment it looked like a fight was going to break out.
Then Avery, still a little confused, said, “what?” He was still trapped in the alley by the cop car. The arrest was complete now, so Heartley and Tripiani had no reason to remain here.
Heartley turned to look at him. “Sorry. I ain’t mean for him to be so blunt about it-“
“Oh please, Heartley-“
“Shut up, Trip!” He glared at him, then forced a charming smile aimed at Avery. “I need money and I heard, y’know…” He sighed. “I was gonna be subtle, just so you know. I was gonna seduce you. It wasn’t gonna be some grimy shit. This is Trip’s fault, he just came right out and said it-“
“Heartley, damn it, I will smash your goddamn teeth in!”
“I need two hundred dollars for child support or I’m going to jail next month,” Heartley said. “Can you do it? You can jerk me off.”
“Oh, uh…” Avery’s mind raced. He wanted to do it, of course, but could he afford it? Even as his mind considered his finances, his mouth kept on going. “Hell yeah!”
Heartley smiled, and Tripiani howled with laughter. Heartley hopped over the car hood and walked deeper into the alley. Avery followed, leaving Trip there to holler — it was obvious he was either nervous or maybe a little upset that Avery hadn’t argued about Heartley being more handsome than him.
But Heartley and Avery ignored him. There was a spot behind the dumpster in this alley where men often came to bust a nut after leaving the nightclub. That was where they went now. There was even an old ratty pillow there for Avery to kneel on.
He unzipped the fly of Heartley’s uniform slacks, and let his big, veiny cock flop out. Heartley sighed like he had been waiting a long time for this.
“Is my dick bigger than Trip’s?” Heartley asked when Avery jerked on the tip. Just like Trip, Heartley only unzipped his slacks to let his cock flop out.
“I don’t know, maybe. You’re both big. You’re both about the same size-“
“I’m bigger, we’ve compared it. I’ve got about a quarter-inch. Ask that Asian prostitute on Canal Street. You know her?”
“Oh yeah, there’s nothing I love more than female whores. We talks about boobs and vulvas all night long, and there’s nothing I love more than a vagina that smells like bread.”
“Okay, you don’t need to be bitchy. Well she measured, and she said I was bigger by a quarter-inch. She was very precise.”
Avery smiled. “Well, she is Asian. They’re good at math,” he said. “Can we stop talking about girls now? I wanna jerk you off-“
“Fine, yeah.” He let Avery resume jerking, then hollered out to Trip. “He said mine’s bigger! He said you were wrong, black dicks taste better!”
“I didn’t say that, Trip!” Avery yelled.
“Man-” Heartley was about to complain to Avery, but then Trip shouted a bunch of insults into the alley. Heartley shouted back to him, and stood there yelling at his partner while Avery got him hard.
He only stopped when his dick twitched, fully erect now, and a few drops of salty precum hit Avery’s tongue. Heartley grunted and writhed like he was surprised at how good this felt, but didn’t want to admit it.
“Damn, man, I swear, you do that pretty good. Not bad at all,” Heartley said — which sounded like a major overstatement. Avery knew he was good, he was certainly better than the trashy girls who usually jerked Heartley off. Heartley smiled. “Almost as good as this stripper I used to fuck wit’-“
Trip bellowed — he had come closer, though he faced away so he didn’t have to watch, making his voice loud — “is he talking about Destiny? She was a plus-size stripper, Avery. She was this thick!” Avery and Trip both faced away from each other, so Avery couldn’t see what gesture he was making.
“I ain’t embarrassed, man, I love big girls. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!” Despite his confident words, Heartley sounded embarrassed. “That just means there’s more cushion for the pushin’.” He cackled. “Hey, man, hey man, hey, can I throat you down?” He asked like he thought Avery would say no.
“Yeah, please,” Avery said. He had thought that was assumed.
Heartley clapped his hands. “Ah, shit, ah, shit, alright,” He gripped Avery’s ears. He was so excited he danced a little on his feet, making his balls sway and slap against Avery’s chin. He had a big dick, so girls rarely let him do any throating. His eyes opened wide as pleasure visibly coursed through his body, and he kept daggering his hips, making love to Avery’s throat over and over.
It all ended up only lasting a few seconds, but it seemed like forever to Avery, who loved every moment of it. He submitted as Heartley pounded at his throat, making him gag and sputter and choke. The taste of his throbbing, precummy cockshaft made Avery moan and stroke himself off, soon shooting his wad onto the garbage-strewn alley floor.
Avery opened his throat as wide as he could, letting Heartley plow away at him. His hands flailed, massaging Heartley’s plump ass and his uniformed muscles. Finally, as Avery began to get dizzy from lack of oxygen, he felt Heartley’s balls crawl up in his sac.
Then creamy, salty cum filled Avery’s throat. He didn’t taste it at first because Heartley’s dick was so deep in his neck, he just shot his cum directly into Avery’s belly. It sat there hotly, filling him up with warmth.
“Oh god, yeah, fuckin’ swallow it, girl, swallow it, shit…” Heartley murmured. When he called Avery girl, it made Trip laugh and clasp Heartley on the back. Heartley’s whole body rippled underneath his uniform shirt as he shot another burst of jizz down Avery’s gullet.
Every time Avery tried to pull off his cock, Heartley like the motion caused a sensation too intense to feel good, and he tensed up, standing on his toes and sucking in his breath. That accompanied another cumwad spurting into Avery’s throat, and then Avery didn’t pull off until he was thought he was done. Then it happened all over again. Heartley must have been horny as hell, Avery decided, that was why he shot such huge loads.
Finally he was done. Avery kept going as long as he could, but soon Heartley pushed him off. Avery took a deep breath, then cleaned the cum off his face. Heartley’s sweaty face was tense, his eyes closed. It was obvious he hadn’t really thought it would be that good of an orgasm, but he didn’t want to let on in front of Officer Tripiani.
“Well, shit,” Heartley said. “You got mad skills, whiteboy.” He sighed. He let his dick dangle between his legs for awhile, looking at it like he didn’t understand why it wasn’t doing anything. It lay limp, moist and gleaming, so overstimulated you could practically see the lines of post-nut ache emanating from the shaft. It was dark and glistened until Tripiani wiped it off with the tail of his uniform shirt. Avery played with it a bit too — there was something wonderfully alluring, Avery thought, about playing with a limp penis. Hartley watched him flop his dick left and right, making no effort to take it away and put it back in his uniform pants. “Thanks. That was… Don’t forget, you owe me two hundred dollars.”
“Just come by the coffee shop tomorrow night. I’ll go to the ATM,” Avery said. He kissed the tip of Heartley’s limpening cock. “And maybe I can play around a little more before I hand it over.”
Heartley wrinkled his nose, then he finally tucked his dick back in his pants. He zipped up the fly and straightened the belt. “Maybe,” he grunted. “We’ll see.”

Gettin’ Dome at the Barbershop

Desmond cuts hair in his barbershop, and he often gives his studlier customers a “happy ending”… But when one encounter with a wannabe rapper leads to a hit song name-checking Desmond’s oral skills, this downlow arrangement becomes more out in the open than Desmond expected! That leads to a series of man-on-man encounters with some of the toughest and handsomest alpha male thugs, ex-cons, jocks and even strippers around!

Read it now as an ebook!

The White Trash Veteran: Chapter 9

The White Trash Veteran

By the end of 1987, Goose found his hillbilly ass on a oil rig in the North Atlantic, nigh to a place called the Pharaoh Islands. Goose never heared of ’em. It wasn’t Egyptian, though it sounded like it, it was much farther north than that. It was cold as frozen turds up there!
The oil rig itself was toasty warm though. Got plentya heat throughout, and the pay was good, so they could live it up when back on land on leave.
Till then, there weren’t much to do besides work. Goose was tuckered as a tire for sure. He did get mail from Buck and Missus Bridge though. She kept Goose in the loop on Buck’s school troubles. He was getting remedials, which she thinked was gonna help.
He be wilding, got hisself suspended. That schoolteacher said he gotsta “decorate his binder how he likes it”, but he don’t like it decorated, so he up and ran around, raising hell, you know how a hillbilly do! He ain’t yet understand that when a woman says to do something as you like it, what she means is to do it as she likes it.
Buck took it on the chin. He was like that, he take it all in stride. All he gots is women in his life though. He lives with Missus Bridge, he got a lady schoolteacher, his daddy be gone all the time. Maybe that was why he was struggling in school, Goose thought. He sees it as a womanly thing.
Even Buck’s gym teacher was a woman! A sturdy lass for sure, but she don’t let ‘em do no wrestling or tackle football or nothing. Buck do get in trouble when he’s bored.
Buck sent him drawings of school and the tree fort he built with his buddy Cody, and Goose be sending him back drawings of the oil rig’s drilling room. Buck love that shit. Goose even got this feller with a camera to take some pictures of the machinery, and Goose sent ‘em on to Buck.
“Shit, man, aftuh I drop off them pitchers in the mail, I’mma kick off in town tomorruh,” Goose said when him and the other Americans all got back on down to they barrack after suppuh one night. They all lived together by nationality. It helped avoid conflicts, or so the old-timers said.
“Shit yeah, booooy!” said Jamal. He was the black feller — the black American feller, as there was other black fellers from like Africa and such. Jamal ain’t get along with them one bit though. He wanted nothing to do with the Africans or the Dominicans. Neither did Goose. Leave he to his own, that’s in the Bible. He do make a exception for the wisdom of the Orient that Sam introduced him to, prior to Goose eating his brains that one time.
Goose wondered if Sam’s teachings on rivers and meditation done stuck to Goose’s mind cuz Sam’s brain got in Goose’s mouth. Prolly not. Prolly no science in behind that. But he do dwell on it.
“I’mma get that lamb, with the sauce! Heckfire!” said Jenderson, a tall reedy motherfucker from Minnesota.
They all agreed on that one. The restaurant on the Pharoah Islands where they got dinner on leave had a rack of lamb that was pricey as fuck but tasted so good it made Goose drool just thinking about it.
“The beer with the bear on the label too-“
“Oooh yeah!”
“Remembuh that blonde waitress?”
“My god, she was hot as hell!”
“Hmmphh!” said this youngish feller Jethro Wilde with a mustache and a scruffy beard beneath it. He grabbed his crotch through his workjeans. He pumped his hips like he was fucking a invisible woman. Then he loosened his belt and dropped his jeans.
They all stripped to drawers after work. The living quarters was warm, often uncomfortably hot, so they gots to get as undressed as possible. With them all grabbing they peckers and miming what they wanna do to the blonde waitress, stiffies was popping up.
And the black feller Jamal was the one with the most obvious stiffy. “Hey, I’mma see if anyone put on that miniskirt,” Jamal said with a guilty laugh. He been dancing along with rap music, which was new then, Goose ain’t never heared it — t’was like calypso but worse, he found. He played calypso instead, but Jamal be plussing. Goose settled. Jamal got a ear for that rap. He grappled with his crotch as the others all laughed alongside him. “Needta find a lady, don’t care how ugly!”
Them’all guffawed and slapped they knees. Jamal was short as a petunia, but he steady popped stiffies. He was little enough that his medium-sized pecker looked big as hell on him. He weared only tight-white drawers, as he went off into the corridors of the oil rig in search of the “barrel room”.
That was a small bedroom with a box in it. Inside the box was a miniskirt. The old-timers did say over and over that anybody who want to can put on the miniskirt. Then the other fellers was “allowed” to ram him up the booty — course ain’t nobody gonna scotch ya even without the miniskirt. On rig, a feller can either hold his own or he can’t. Don’t need a miniskirt to let a man in ya backdoor.
But anyway, if he put on a miniskirt, another man is allowed to put it up behind, gotsta pay out in likker, that was all. The old-timers would enforce that one, if a feller refused to pay up.
Or supposably they would. Ain’t not a soul do it yet, and Goose and them all done spread the notion that nobody ever did. T’was just a prank, a way to scare newbies by pretending you was gonna put the miniskirt on ’em.
But Jamal been checking every night, it seemed. You know how black boys is, they love ass. If Jamal was a foot taller, he’d prolly try and put the miniskirt on a small feller. Black boys is like that. Most likeishly, the Africans on rig would do the same, and maybe they did among they own. Nobody talked about that though. Jamal returned to the barrack every night with a stiffy, which he jacked off right there in front of everybody.
That ain’t a fun parta brotherhood, seeing a black boy shooting nut on his belly. Still felt good to Goose though. Lotta the Americans on rig was veterans, not all of ’em went to ‘Nam though. It hurt to hear it the first time, when some feller said he was in the Army in peace. It made Goose feel old, used-up, abandoned like a waste house, irrelevant, forgotted, like everything that happened was never gonna matter. The Army done move on. Vietnam done move on.
But that feller got his own troubles, his own dams blocking up his self-same river. It’s good for a man to get away. Among women and children, a man had gotta keep his head up, keep his shoulders straight. A man falls apart like a jigsaw puzzle; a woman falls apart like shattered glass. Without women, men holds each other together like log cabins. Without men, women holds each other down like a bucket of frogs.
Since leave was upcoming soon, Goose held off on his own wingwang. He was gonna get to that brothel, and he was gonna fuck like a stallion. There was beautiful Nordic ladies — blonde-haired beauties like Viking princesses waited for ’em in the Pharaoh Islands.
Thinking about them Viking ladies got Goose an inconvenient hardon the night before leave. It was too early for lights out, and Goose don’t like to jack hisself off in the lightness, with a dozen fellers watching or worse, whacking it alongside him. That’s nasty, and that’s what Jamal do. If Goose ain’t better than a colored feller, then what’s the point of being white?
T’wasn’t until just before lights-out that Goose reckonized Jamal’s absence. He never did come back from the trip to the barrel room. Did that mean someone did have on the miniskirt after all? Maybe Jamal was deep in some feller’s asshole right now.
So Goose excused hisself to go take a shit, but then he went through to the barrel room, carrying with himself the bottle of rum he been sipping from. Sure nuff, he heared Jamal’s voice in the barrel room, and when he went in, Jamal was plowing into the behind of a much larger man.
It was one the dark-haired ones who lived altogether in a corner barrack, white but swarthy — someone said they was Greek, someone else said Gypsies. Maybe both. This one was Bosko, and he was a broad-shouldered powerhouse, the miniskirt barely fitting round his waist.
“Ah shit, honky, you caught me! This girl is tight!” Jamal said with a big bright smile. Bosko was strong as a ox and a foot taller than Jamal’s bitsy booty, so Jamal looked ridiculous ramming at his backdoor, like it took all of Jamal’s strength just to bump into him. Jamal then closed his eyes as he jetted his nut into Bosko’s tight ass. “Hmm, baby, you okay?” He tenderly rubbed Bosko’s asscheek.
Parta the rule was that whoever weared the miniskirt was “technically” a female. You had to treat “her” like a woman, and you hadta pretend it was a different person. Jamal wasn’t sposedta ever acknowledge that it was Bosko in the miniskirt. Jamal’s whole body twitched as he shot Bosko fulla jizz. Goose got up close to watch, but there weren’t much to see, cuz Jamal done ram his whole manhood up there.
All Goose sawed was Bosko’s ass quivering as he clenched and expelled Jamal’s limpening dickshaft. It plopped out with a moist shlurping sound that made Goose both chuckle and groan.
“No ass.” Bosko had a thin accent to his English. He glared at Goose, as Jamal chuckled and wiped his black boy pecker off, then pulled his drawers up.
Before Jamal left, he grabbed Goose by the balls through his drawers and squeezed hard enough to make Goose squirm. Then Jamal guffawed and stepped outta the barrel room. Jamal thought a white man with a big dingdong was hilarious.
“Good luck, Bosko!” Jamal said. Then he hushed hisself, “I mean… lady… ma’am, whoever you is.”
The door swung shut behind him, and Goose was left alone with Bosko.
Goose looked sheepishly at Bosko. He showed him the third of a bottle of rum he had, which Bosko peered at, then sniffed then put in a corner with a few other bottles of liquor, beer and wine.
“Mouth only.” Bosko said, his miniskirt riding up to bare his hairy Greek thighs. He got on his knees in front of Goose. He got a wide layer of scruff round his lips and a hairy chest. Shit, he was hairy enough to make the whole room smell like body hair.
Goose wrinkled his nose. He ain’t never decide to do this, he just had liquor in hand and Bosko thinked that was supposed to be payment. Goose did wanna bust a load out, but damn, couldn’t they shave Bosko’s Greek ass? Or Gypsy or anywhat? Whatever race Bosko was, they was some hairballs, that was for sure.
Slipping his limp dick into Bosko’s mouth, Goose furrowed his brow. Bosko made no effort to throat him. Goose had trouble getting hard like that. Bosko’s beard hairs was coarse and reminded Goose there was no woman around, and Bosko ain’t even do nothing, he just sat there gawping like a dead fish.
His mouth was open, and Goose could play round in there all he wanted. Bosko ain’t even gag a bit. But he also ain’t lick it or slurp on it or make any spit or even just move his lips back and forth. Goose did the best he could.
His tongue did feel good, kinda, rubbing on Goose’s meat. It felt better than Goose’s own hand anyway. It ain’t feel much like a blowjob though, more like a discount fleshlight.
“Hey, I’m allowed to ram you up the asshole,” Goose said with a frown. He put his hands on his hips, then swayed his waist to make his dick limply rub over Bosko’s msuatchioed face. “I can’t even see the miniskirt like that, man.”
Bosko grumbled in whatever dumbass language he spoke, but he got up onto the bed in one corner of the room. He laid on his back so his head dangled just off the back edge.
“A’ight, a’ight,” Goose said with a smile. He bent his knees to get his dick into Bosko’s mouth, which stretched open to accommodate it. Goose tried to picture a woman in the miniskirt, ignoring Bosko’s hairy legs and the treasure trail going down his belly and into the miniskirt.
This was more like it.
With Bosko laying over the edge of the bed, Goose had a perfect angle to go deep in his throat. Bosko musta been well broke-in — damn well broke-in — cuz he ain’t resist a bit. Goose’s limpness hit the backa his throat and slipped in past his gag reflex, and that was it! A surge of melted pleasure hit Goose’s body, and he moaned as his cock flexed to full erection in moments.
Goose’s pecker was too big for any woman to deep-throat, so he never got real deep like that. He did throat down some fellers pretty hard in his day, but ain’t none of ’em was as broke-open as Bosko was and ain’t mosta ’em bend over backwards like this neither.
That Gypsy throat opened up deep enough that Goose’s whole erection could ram down there, his balls slapping Bosko on the nose. “Oh fuck yeah, baby…” Goose pictured one the Viking women he was gonna fuck on leave. He ain’t even needta look at the miniskirt.
Later on, Goose found out Bosko was indeed a Gypsy, and they gots a rule that when they run outta liquor on rig, they draw straws and make one of they own take dick till they earn enough liquor to last till leave. Over the next couple days, Bosko musta took gallons of nut. Gypsies is like that, reckon.
Bosko gagged over and over, but he got deeper on Goose’s dick than any man ever had. Goose got so into it that he even pulled down Bosko’s miniskirt as though he might see a pussy. All that was there was Bosko’s uncut cock, bouncing around. Goose chuckled at the sight, then covered it up again.
He shot a fat load down Bosko’s throat. A bigger load than Goose thunk possible, wad after creamy wad filled up Bosko’s belly and overflowed from his throat. Bosko squirmed, but Goose held him tightly in place.
“Fuck yeah…” Goose’s voice wavered and broke. Another flood of jizz spurted right down Bosko’s gullet. Goose’s cock was so deep in his tight throat that Bosko couldn’t spit it up if he hoped to, which he did, and his whole body be twitching as Goose spewed load after load straight into his belly.
His cock plopped out, followed by a frenzy of gags and squirming retches from Bosko. Stomachfuls of jizz spilled outta Bosko’s mouth and soaked his chest, dripping down to his miniskirt. Goose was dribbling yet a few drops of nut and saliva onto Bosko’s head, even as Bosko stood and bent over to spit up into a bucket by the bed.
“Goddamn, that felt good,” Goose said, backing away from Bosko. He twirled his limp dick in hand before wiping his wetness off and tucking it back in his drawers. “Lemme know when you put that thang on again, shit, lady. I’ll get a blowjob outta ya throat anytime.”
Satisfied as a kitten, Goose returned to his barrack, where Jamal and them was fitting to fall asleep like wise lotuses. Goose stayed up for awhile. It felt good to be among men, but it couldn’t last. He needta see his son, rejoin civilization and prove that he could build a lake behind hisself, flowing on to the ocean yanway. Forward, he thought, forward at last.

Goddamn modern music was awful

The limp-beat rap music from the party drowned out his voice and threatened to ruin Thumper’s erection — goddamn modern music was awful, no wonder every male under forty was impotent incompetents.

The limp-beat rap music from the party drowned out his voice and threatened to ruin Thumper’s erection — goddamn modern music was awful, no wonder every male under forty was impotent incompetents.

From Thumper on Parole

Yo’ daddy was listening to some nutty-butter rap when he put a baby in yo’ mama, so you end up short

Luckily, Thumper heard a song on the TuneBleed that he curled his lip at, and he couldn’t resist mouthing off about music nowadays and how it made him wanna crawl in a cave and cut his ears off.

Luckily, Thumper heard a song on the TuneBleed that he curled his lip at, and he couldn’t resist mouthing off about music nowadays and how it made him wanna crawl in a cave and cut his ears off. That nigga be listening to Lionel Richie and shit. Prince. Some nigga named “Eric B” and some other one-name nigga “Rakim”. Michael fucking Jackson — not even proper Michael Jackson, Thumper listened to the Jackson Five! What kinda granddaddy nonsense was that?! Deon ain’t wanna get his goat going, so he kept quiet, he just let that old fool harangue the Lil Nas X song on the TuneBleed.

“I like music. I like propuh music, nigga, not some pisspuffin smackin’ his lips like a retard, whisper-rappin’, shit, goddamn, makes my dick shrink…” Thumper looked Deon up and down. “Bet that’s what happened to you. Yo’ daddy was listening to some nutty-butter rap when he put a baby in yo’ mama, so you end up short. If he was listenin’ to proper music, you’d be my size.”

From Thumper the Mover

A slow-kidney tinkle-piss beat

Some awful music blared from the speakers. It got a beat like hip hop, a slow-kidney tinkle-piss beat, like if rain could cry, but no words, cuz every nigga in the world musta got too sleepy to rap over it.

Some awful music blared from the speakers. It got a beat like hip hop, a slow-kidney tinkle-piss beat, like if rain could cry, but no words, cuz every nigga in the world musta got too sleepy to rap over it.

From Thumper the Booty Bandit

Niggas rapping like a deflating balloon

All morning they listened to some nutty-butter rap, Thumper could hardly believe it. Niggas rapping like a deflating balloon, beats dry as a frigid bitch, and every head in that barbershop a nod-along nelly.

All morning they listened to some nutty-butter rap, Thumper could hardly believe it. Niggas rapping like a deflating balloon, beats dry as a frigid bitch, and every head in that barbershop a nod-along nelly.

From Thumper the Booty Bandit

The club deejay was playing some rhythmless rap now

Shit, Thumper’d rather listen to a hobo’s diarrhea.

Thumper walked in, pausing to overcome his revulsion at the dickless rock pooping its way outta the club speakers… Bud the club deejay was playing some rhythmless rap now, nigga belching out limp nonsense, the girl onstage trying bravely to dance to it. Shit, Thumper’d rather listen to a hobo’s diarrhea.

From Thumper the Bodyguard

Only difference between music genres now was the singer’s hat

It sounded like eternal loneliness, like the notion that hell is just the shadows the damned live in and from there they can see into heaven where souls eternally rejoice in God’s radiance. It was reggae that sounded like that concept.

Only difference between music genres now was the singer’s hat. It all sounds the same. If he wear a cowboy hat or a trucker hat, it’s country. If he wear a baseball cap backward, it’s hip hop. If he wear it cocked to the side, it’s R&B. If he wear any other kinda hat, it’s rock. If a female wear a cowboy hat or trucker hat, it’s country, but any other hat or no hat, it’s R&B. Unless she ugly, in which case it’s rock, regardless of the hat situation. If there ain’t no singer, it’s techno. All sounds the same, so if you can’t see the singer’s hat, you can’t know what genre it is.

That actually mighta been reggae. If the singer wore a red, green and black hat, it’s reggae. Don’t sound like reggae though. It sounded like eternal loneliness, like the notion that hell is just the shadows the damned live in and from there they can see into heaven where souls eternally rejoice in God’s radiance. It was reggae that sounded like that concept. Bob Marley be bugging.

From Thumper the Bodyguard

Niggas be listening to some flat-ass mumble-rap bullshit

All them partyers virtually shouting to be heard over the failed razzle and aborted dazzle of the warbly pop music, shit do it get Thumper’s dick soft!

The party was crowded, but the music was bad. Normal but bad. Music got awful while Thumper was in prison. He do try not to focus on it… Not just white people music neither, niggas be listening to some flat-ass mumble-rap bullshit. Thumper don’t judge.
Okay, Thumper do judge, but he don’t fixate on it.

Thumper usedta be cool. He spent lotta his cool years in prison. Now he was the old weirdo bumming around a house party, ain’t nobody talking to him cuz he was scary, twice the age of anybody here, looking like a cast-iron nigga with a foulness, all them partyers virtually shouting to be heard over the failed razzle and aborted dazzle of the warbly pop music, shit do it get Thumper’s dick soft, it weren’t even party music. Can’t dance to it! People forgot how to pick music for a party, damn!
But Thumper weren’t gonna fixate on that.

From Thumper the Bodyguard