Ralphie Whitehall stood there like a bronzed Greek god. He was a quarterback from Cleveland, Ohio, and he had a foppish mop of blond hair that he was always running his fingers through. He had a perfectly tapered waist with a six-pack that looked like it was created in a lab. He had the air of a model who played a quarterback in a cheesy movie. Ralphie touched his nose. It was kind of big, not really in a standout way, not enough to make him ugly, but it was the closest thing to a distinctive and unattractive feature Bart could see on him in the spur of the moment. Other than that, he was just Generic Blond Hunk #44 at Camp Ramwide.