Balaam is a young man.
Balaam looked like a badger who thought he was better than all the other badgers. His face was cut by a skilled sculptor, and you could just tell he thought all the women was luvvy-duvvy over him and that he was right. He prolly looked at all them girlies like he got a hotter female round the corner. You could tell he got a glass jaw and he only looked tough to girls who never got touched by a real man. Balaam got nice teeth, white as possum bones and straight as stonehenge.
From Thumper the Mover