MN Manmacker's mansploitation
Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.
Eventually Thumper and Jamella got to dancing to the buttnugget rock pooping outta the speakers, shit, music got so bad in the last thirty-four years, what happened? Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.
But Thumper and Jamella was both proper niggas, not Kenyans, so they danced like ain’t nothing matter. Rico was much too cool to dance. He sat at the table drinking his whatever like a lonely lasagna.
From Deep on the Downlow
You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That’s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out. “You can’t back out now.”
“I don’t wanna fuck with Jamella,” Rico said. Thumper ain’t tell him he set up a threesome til it was too late for Rico to back out.
“Uh-huh,” Thumper said with a shrug. “You don’t gotta enjoy it. Get drunk first. It’ll be okay. You can just lick her pussy while I fuck her-“
“Ewwwcck, no way!”
“You ain’t lemme finish, nigga,” Thumper said. He waited until Rico quieted his frown, then Thumper said, “You can lick her pussy while I fuck her gooo-ood.”
“I ain’t doin’ that,” Rico said. He shook his head like a owl. “No way. That’s so nasty.”
“You don’t lick pussy?”
“Not while a old nigga is fuckin’ it!”
“Aw, c’mon, nigga. I’ll let you slurp on my dick,” Thumper said.
“No!” Rico screwed up his face like a screw. “I wanna go to a New Year’s party,” he said. “I’m sure there’s a bunch. I saw some on LocalNights.” Rico paused. “That’s that app-“
“What’d I say ’bout tellin’ me to get a app-?” Thumper wagged his finger at Rico.
“I didn’t say to download it! I just said what it is!” He threw his hands up.
“You is — shit, nigga — I don’t wanna hear about no app! I wanna do things the right way!”
“Okay, okay, okay-“
Thumper side-eyed Rico. “Watchin’ videos of other niggas playing video games, shit, nigga…”
“I’m not, I didn’t! I didn’t put that on!” Rico said. He gestured to the teevee, which was off. “Damn, old nigga!”
“You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That‘s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out. “You can’t back out now.”
“It’s not backing out, I never agreed! I You only just told me.”
“That’s right, I told you.” Thumper grabbed Rico’s ass through his clean jeans. His white bitch was with her girlfriends tonight. They got a New Year’s Eve tradition, and it don’t involve sucking Rico’s dick, so he got nothing to do.
“Get off me, old nigga!” Rico said, slapping Thumper’s hand away. “I’s serious, that old bitch is ugly! I don’t wanna fuck her!”
“I’ll turn the lights off,” Thumper said. And he meant that too. Jamella weren’t ugly, but she was prettier in the dark. He ain’t yet say that Rico was gonna hafta lick her asshole to open it up, so Thumper could fuck it. Thumper do that hisself most times, but he was tired of the taste, and Rico got a nice clean tongue.
From Deep on the Downlow
It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist.
Inside the apartment, Jamella said something incomprehensivish and snuggled onto the couch, where she fell asleep fast as a drunk bitch on a couch. Thumper stood there like a disappointed nigga with a hardon and a sigh lingering in his lungs.
“What’s wrong?” Rico asked. He done microwave up a “uncrustable”. You hearda that? It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but it comes frozen and don’t got no crust on the bread. It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist. A uncrustable is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for niggas whose mamas don’t love ‘em. Weak as lipton tea. Shit’s bullshit, nigga.
From Deep on the Downlow
Lipton tea and Uncrustables are trademarks of the whoever, I dunno, look it up yourselves, dumbasses.