MN Manmacker's mansploitation
Steel be making good comparisons, you’re impressed by them.
It was apparent Jenner weren’t gonna make it home, as he tripped over a loose rock and almost fell, then bumped into a brick wall and did fall. He got right back up though, only to bump into a parked car and stagger across the sidewalk. He was struggling and a-stumbling! Straight-up drunk as a trunk! (An elephant’s trunk, not a car) (they drink through they trunks, it does make sense) (Steel be making good comparisons, you’re impressed by them)
Well, that metaphor was outta control — outta control like a drunk! Or a war!
The concert turned out to be a house party — it wasn’t a concert followed by a party, it was a concert at a party! Fulla drinking! Fulla injecting IV drug use! Clouds of weed smoke! Bottles of liquor all over! All over like fallen soldiers in the battlefield of addiction! No, like soldiers toppling — like living soldiers getting toppled by the guns of using in a battlefield of willpower in a war of addiction — no, wait, the soldiers is like individual decisions to drink or not drink, and the guns is like willpower, or whatever the opposite of willpower is, the war is addiction itself. Well, that metaphor was outta control — outta control like a drunk! Or a war! There you go, Steel brought it back around again.
He was skinny — well-muscled but skinny, like a horse addict — Steel do know the signs! Sure nuff, he checked for trackmarks, and there they were like dead soldiers on Jenner’s elbow — another dead soldier metaphor! — this time, the needle is the war, the pain is the battlefield, and the trackmarks are the guns. No, the pain is the soldiers, the trackmarks are the battles — well, the remains of battlefields, and the dead soldiers are the… — nevermind, the metaphor is proper though, real meaningful if you think about it.
Concerts is for drink-a-linking and druggie-do-dos, every concert got temptations all over like tits on a trampoline!
He wanna go to a concert and a party afterwards, whoopty-woo. That was prime temptation territory, Steel knew that cuz he was a wise nigga. Concerts is for drink-a-linking and druggie-do-dos, every concert got temptations all over like tits on a trampoline!
Whiteboys wear long shorts these days! They’s practically pants! What’s up with that?
Whiteboys wear long shorts these days! They’s practically pants! What’s up with that?
Drunkie-doorights stay complaining! The only cure for that is more sobriety!
Steel let the whine bounce off him like wine — bouncy wine — if wine bounced — okay, that wordplay maybe don’t work, but Steel don’t let it bother him. Drunkie-doorights stay complaining! The only cure for that is more sobriety! And Christ!
He done inquisit regarding Mucker’s so-called friends, who was parta the “skater scene”. Also, Steel learned about the skater scene.
It sounded like a buncha drinky-dinky whiteboys to Steel, most likely druggie-do-’ems too, but Mucker assured him that that was not a necessary parta “the scene”.
Steel droned on about the importance of having safe and healthy hobbies to do with your safe and healthy friends. He done inquisit regarding Mucker’s so-called friends, who was parta the “skater scene”. Also, Steel learned about the skater scene.
It sounded like a buncha drinky-dinky whiteboys to Steel, most likely druggie-do-’ems too, but Mucker assured him that that was not a necessary parta “the scene”. Lotta ’em are straight-edge, Mucker said. Also, Steel learned about “straight-edge”. Damn, there’s lotta kinds of whiteboys out there! They don’t teach that in schools! A nigga only learn it on the streets!
On the skateboard of sobriety, I’mma be yo’, uh… wheels, I guess — I dunno how skateboards work.
Mucker struggled to sit up. “Look, man, I only agreed to go to AA cuz I gotta get the judge off my back.” Them whiteboy chest muscles was streaked with sweat.
“Uh-huh. Oldest story in the book,” Steel said. “Moses said the same thing!” He picked up the skateboard beside the mattress. “You a skateboarder?”
“Can’t hide anything from you.”
“Well, on the skateboard of sobriety, I’mma be yo’, uh… wheels, I guess — I dunno how skateboards work,” Steel said. He poked Mucker in the meat of his back.
“You got the hang of it.”
“That means I might keep moving even when you wanna stop-“
“Yep, that’s how skateboards work.”
“Cuz that is how you get from where you is to where you wanna be. The skate park of sobriety!” Steel said.
“Bottles all ovuh, hallelujah! Only Jaysus can pick up aftuh me! Oh Lord hallelujah! Lord gimme strength to see! With eyes of knowin’!”
“You ain’t done quit. You is drunk right now, numbnut!” Steel wagged his finger at Mucker and gestured to the circle of empties all around. “You done lost a battle! This is a war, Mucker Talleus, and yo’ forces is surrounded by enemy soldiers! They’s comin’ at’choo wit’ the whites of they eyes! I sees it wit’ my ever-belovin’ eyeballs. Let he with eyes do see!” Steel stood and did a little having-eyes dance, which Mucker ignored. Mucker tried hard to pass out drunk again, but he was neither tired nor drunk. Steel’s dance turned into an impromptu gospel song, which he sung repeating his words. “Bottles all ovuh, hallelujah! Only Jaysus can pick up aftuh me! Oh Lord hallelujah! Lord gimme strength to see! With eyes of knowin’!”
“You wanna hear somethin’ racist, you tell Mistuh Gregarian ’bout that plan. You’ll hear somethin’ racist fo’ real.” He muttered through a derisive sneer as he backed the Jag out of its parking spot, “Laequan!…”
“Mistuh Gregarian is the one who’s payin’ me, and he dislike black folk more than he like you. If’n I tells him I ain’t let’cha go into some ghetto traphouse, he gonna give me a raise. You buyin’ drugs from a homeboy? No way.”
“Oh my god!”
“Did you just say homeboy? What decade are you from?! We’re currently now, in the present, okay?”
“Laequan’s no jive turkey, he’s a cool kat, daddy-o.”
“You ain’t buyin’ drugs from a homeboy named Laequan,” Buck said. He put the car in reverse. “You wanna hear somethin’ racist, you tell Mistuh Gregarian ’bout that plan. You’ll hear somethin’ racist fo’ real.” He muttered through a derisive sneer as he backed the Jag out of its parking spot, “Laequan!…”