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Welcome to the world of mansploitation fiction by M.N. Manmacker! It’s a series of linked stories involving man-on-man action in a world full of homoerotic situations, alpha males and raunchy, filthy rutting!

Welcome to the world of mansploitation fiction by M.N. Manmacker! It’s a series of linked stories involving man-on-man action in a world full of homoerotic situations, alpha males and raunchy, filthy rutting!

Content on this website includes pictures and videos that contain adult content. Written material (excerpts, etc.) may contain adult content, including offensive material, nonconsensual sex and other topics you may find objectionable. You must be at least eighteen years of age to visit this website.

Comments, questions and requests can be sent to MNManmacker@proton.me or sign up for the mailing list to keep abreast of new releases.

What does “mansploitation” mean?

À la 70s femsploitation and blaxsploitation movies, mansploitation stories emphasize masculine gender roles in ways that are sexy beyond belief!

Mansploitation stories use a floating, mobile timeline, like a classic cartoon or sitcom.

1: That means time moves forward but the characters mostly don’t — in other words, a college student character will always be a college student, even as the year changes. References and technologies will advance as well. This is a floating timeline.

2: Stories are set in various locations, characterized principally by the bar Lipsweet. For example, when Lipsweet is in Martinsburg, West Virginia, it is a rough-and-tumble strip club dominated by rednecks and hicks in the modern day. When Lipsweet is in Santa Monica, California, it is a modern-day cholo bar. When it is in Baton Rouge, it is a 1930s speakeasy , and when it is in Los Angeles, it is a beachfront bar in the 1980s. The characters will be translated to each setting but will remain mostly the same. Some storylines will unfold along different times and places. This is a mobile timeline.

3: Don’t worry too much about continuity. Some developments, mainly new characters, continue into future stories. But mostly, characters and situations reset in each new story. I try to keep character details consistent, but I have lots of oopsies (e.g., characters changing surnames, etc.). It’s a multiverse thing, deal with it.

Mansploitation stories have subtitles.

The subtitles are formatted like this: “A Lifelong Bachelors Mansploitation Novel” or “A Forceful Alphas Mansploitation Novella”.

$1.99: <10k short
$2:99: 10k story
$3.99: 15k noveletta; 20k novelette
$4.99: 30k novella; 40k novel
$5.99: 50k novellota
$6.99: 60k epic novel
$7.99: 70k epic novel
$8.99: 80k epic novel
$9.99: 90k epic novel

(These prices were updated in January 2026. Older books were not updated to the new pricing scheme.)

Bundles are priced as the total of their components minus two dollars per story, to a minimum of $1 each.

Hazing & Hijinks: homoerotic situations, hazing, bullying, initiations

Married Men with Double Lives: men married to women but messing around with other men

Forceful Alphas: strongly nonconsenting sexual activity

MM Str8rom: man-on-woman romance with man-on-man sexual activity

Twink on Top: slim, small, usually feminine men who end up topping big, tough alpha males

Actives and Passives: men who are seductively flamboyant and who seek out or are sought out by big, tough, masculine men

Rough Trade: men who engage in man-on-man action for money or other considerations

Lifelong Bachelors: men who pursue, compel and/or convince uber-macho alphas to top them

More specific niches are called “ultra”. These are priced $2 more expensive than they would otherwise be based on the word count.

Ultra-Foot Worship: foot and shoe/boot stuff

Ultra-Gutpunching: gut punches, some trampling, that kinda thing

Ultra-Raunchy: real dirty stuff, hobos, piss, rimjobs, etc

Mansploitation stories have pictures!

Most stories feature pictures, which are generated by AI. AI produces far superior images for my purposes compared to stock photo.

While images are intended to bring to mind a specific character, they don’t exactly correspond to descriptions in the book. That’s partially because AI isn’t real precise with things like ages, hairstyles and tattoos, but also it simply provides a little variety, so readers don’t feel locked in to a look that may not be their ideal. In any case, just like with stock photos, think of it as less the “actual look” of a character and more a head shot of an actor who could play that character — i.e., hair and makeup will change, they might be a little off in various ways, but they have the right attitude, atmosphere and ambiance to represent the character.

The Cholo Bottoms

Anthony got it bad in prison, and he never thought his fortunes would be turned upside-down! That’s cuz the bad-ass cholo who hurt him is gonna hafta turn around and bend over, so that tiny twink Anthony gets to climb on top!

Read it now as an ebook! Or read the whole thing below!

When Anthony got out of the prison infirmary, he struggled to walk at all. The doctors had sewn up his cuts and got his bruising to go down, but he was still in intense pain with every step he took. That’s because he got cornholed, and it felt like his ass tore in half, like wet tissue paper, like he was being torn up all over again each time he stepped forward. The stairs were especially difficult to make it down.
Much to his surprise, the guards were kind. Officer Bignose in particular allowed him to walk back to his cell as slowly as he needed. Usually he pushed guys along, practically dragging anyone who didn’t hurry.
Anthony’s ramrod was named Franco, but he went by Sucio — a Spanish word that means “filthy or vulgar” and implies sexual perversion as well. He was tall, heavily tattooed from forehead to feet, broad-shouldered and meaty, strong as an ox. He had cornholed Anthony harder and harder until Anthony begged him to stop. He made Anthony lick the prison toilet seat; he stuck his assjuice-stained dick in Anthony’s mouth, and he pissed on his face. It was a tortuous experience.
Anthony certainly didn’t intend to wag his ass at any more cholos. He had thought he’d be able to get on Sucio’s good side by seducing him, but he didn’t know Sucio’s intense desire to remain uno hombre. His authoritarian manhood demanded he take charge of uno pasivo like Anthony.
But he was safe now. Anthony shared a cell with an elderly man, and he didn’t plan on leaving the cell any more than he had to. Sucio was sent to solitary confinement as punishment for the attack, so Anthony didn’t see him for a long time.
When he finally did return to the cell block on the same day Anthony did, Sucio made a kissy face as he walked by in chains, and the sight of that reawakened the lingering pain in Anthony’s ass. Shame flooded him, and he blushed as he looked down at his feet. Everybody knew Anthony was small and weak in comparison to Sucio, but he was still embarrassed for that to be made obvious. Officer Bignose led Sucio through the cell block. When they saw the kissy face, Bignose pulled on the manacle connected to Sucio’s legs, tripping him. He fell in a big bronze lump on the floor.
Sucio’s dingy white prison shorts and wifebeater were filthy with his sweat and raunch from his time cooped up in solitary. Anthony felt a surge of sexual desire, followed by shame. Anthony wished he could have serviced him in a consensual way. On the outside, he’d have said he wanted Sucio to ravage him. But it didn’t go how he had pictured it in his head. Anthony guessed that Sucio would never allow it — Sucio wouldn’t want to do it so Anthony enjoyed it. He was always going to do it harder than his victim wanted. His machismo demanded it.
“Come on out here,” Officer Bignose said, poking his head into the cell Anthony shared with the old man. Anthony had backed away from the door, not wanting Sucio to see him. Fear surged all over again as he wondered if Bignose’s kindness had only been a front for his true aim: retorturing Anthony by setting up another ramrodding. When Anthony didn’t respond right away, Bignose barked his order again, “Inmate Delunez, get the fuck out here right now!”
Anthony trembled but nodded and crept out of the cell. The cell block was having a Sunday afternoon indoors today, since it was raining outside. That meant dozens of men milled about, almost all of them vatos and cholos — Cell S99 was reserved for inmates associated with the Latin Kings. Anthony had only a glancing connection with them, which was why he had been turned out as Sucio’s bitch.
Bignose held a hand up, palm out, which made the cell block stop whispering. They all glared at Bignose. Anthony shivered with fear — was Bignose going to cornhole him now as well?
Outside of prison, Anthony hadn’t been a thug at all. He had only pledged himself to the Latin Kings because he was going in for a year and needed protection, and luckily his brother was a well-respected vato who could vouch for him. Of course, that hadn’t ended up mattering for very much.
“Listen up, you shitheaps. A lot of you are aware of what happened awhile ago. Inmate Delunez here was treated… poorly, to say the least-” Bignose was interrupted by a chorus of cheers and jeers from the assembled cholos, who yelled insults at Anthony. He blushed, especially when Sucio — standing nearby in chains — sneered at him. Someone pinched Anthony’s ass. Bignose whistled and demanded silence; everyone ignored him until he brought out the taser and brandished it. “Shut the fuck up! There’s a prison policy here we ain’t always followed. That’s because the victims are usually as bad as the perpetrators, but it’s a rule we got a right to enforce.”
“Fuck yo’ rules, esé!” Sucio said. He pumped his hips as though literally fucking Bignose’s rules. His dick-bulge shook in his prison shorts, and he rolled his tongue beneath his lips.
Bignose smiled at Sucio. He nodded to the other guards around him, and one of them jumped into action. Before Anthony could process the sudden turn of events, Sucio had a mouthguard placed on his face. Sucio roared and pulled away, but there were four guards on him, and they kept him in place, even forcing him to his knees. His complaints vanished into a wordless burst of syllables.
The mouthguard was a plain piece of plastic with wire forceps-like edges and a strap binding it to the face. It was made for prison dentists who couldn’t otherwise safely put their hands near the inmates’s mouths. Sucio tried to spit but with his jaw stuck pried apart, all he could do was sputter and writhe in the muscular guards’s arms.
“The rule that we’re going to enforce from now on,” Officer Bignose said with a cruel smile, “is that prison tops get bottomed.”
Total silence filled the room. Then there was a torrent of shouting, angry Spanish and vituperative English — a few of them were in support of the policy, it seemed, but many were against it, and some just wanted to watch the world burn. A few of the inmates rushed towards Bignose as though going to fight him, but Bignose flipped his taser on and they backed off when the sound of electricity crackling hit the air.
Silence once again fell over the cell block.
“Now, not all you alpha cholos are gonna get it up the ass. I ain’t got no interest in that,” Bignose said. “But if yer bitch complains, then I’m gonna let him treat you the same way you got treated. That’s how we gonna decide what’s consensual or not. If your bitch is upset enough to file a complaint, he’s gonna get to climb on top of yer stupid ass. Inmate Delunez here is gonna be first.” He smiled at Anthony, and extended his arm like a fancy butler unveiling an expensive dish.
It all happened so fast that Anthony only realized what was happening right now, as he stepped towards Sucio. The inmates mostly quieted down. None of them really loved Sucio, after all. Bignose had no doubt started off with what seemed like terrible news in order to be sure they’d be supportive and happy when he backed up into a less atrocious rule.
Anthony blushed as he took his dick out. He had been showering with these men, and occasionally jerking them off, for more than a month before Sucio attacked him, so this wasn’t the first time they had seen his dick. But he was still self-conscious knowing that they were looking at him now, and no doubt comparing his dick to theirs — when he was just another prison punk, they avoided looking at his manhood; his ass and his mouth were his only body parts that mattered.
But now his rather thick dick was the center of attention. Anthony had never felt smaller, despite the grande size of his meat. Sucio roared as he tried to pull away, but the guards kept him on his knees. His chest and shoulders were soaked with sweat, which made his wifebeater stick to his flesh. His muscles strained the fabric.
¡Destrozar el culo! ¡Que sea sangrienta!
Anthony chuckled as he flopped his limp dick onto Sucio’s face, his heart racing — this felt so dangerous, even if it wasn’t. Sucio’s face was heavily tattooed, seven tears dripping from his eyes (which meant he had murdered seven people, and the fact that one of the tears was colored red meant that one of those seven was either a cop or a snitch).
¡Su garganta es su culo!
Sucio flinched and writhed. He breathed heavily, drool dripping past his lips. It was obvious he was trying to say something but couldn’t with his mouth pried open. All he could do was champ up moutfuls of saliva.
“You ever tasted cock before, bitch?” Anthony asked, simply because the silence made this all more intense, and he felt a need to do something to break the tension. The pain in his ass was gone now, and he smiled as the cholos filling the cell block burst into laughter and applause. Sucio was a powerful gangbanger, and though they were all nominally allied with him, no one liked him — now that he was a bitch, they’d treat him like one, which meant everyone here could move up a rung in the Latin Kings hierarchy.
Fuck ‘is throat, Anthony. Make him choke! ¡Hacer que se ahogue!
Anthony pushed his dick into Sucio’s big, wide mouth. His moist tongue shook as though trying to find a place to hide, but Anthony just pushed his dick all the way in to the root in one smooth motion — Sucio was big enough to swallow a lot of meat. Sucio retched and gagged, a big ball of spit dripping down his chin and onto his wifebeater.
“Keep your eyes open, puta!” Anthony said. He pounded on his thin twinky chest. This was exactly how Sucio had treated him, so he enjoyed returning the favor. “Bitches should look in they owners’ eyes. I wanna see yo’ stupid bitch face suffocating on my cock, esé.”
He rammed his dick in all the way, even lifting one leg to hump his face like a dog. The mouthguard on Sucio’s face pinched at his jaw whenever he tried to open it, so his mouth was open as wide as it would go — every time he stretched it a little wider, the mouthguard didn’t allow it to go back without pinching into his gums.
Anthony rubbed the Gothic lettering tattooed on Sucio’s forehead — Latin Kings por vida, it read. He spat right onto that tattoo, and when he saw that Sucio shook and gagged, he did it again. He spat on Sucio’s nose and hocked up a big loogie, which he plopped into Sucio’s mouth.
This felt so good that Anthony would have gladly kept going until he came. But he felt his orgasm coming and he knew Officer Bignose wouldn’t hold Sucio down again, at least not unless Sucio cornholed him again. So Anthony decided to go after him in the ass while he could.
After all, he wasn’t gonna get more chances to ramrod a muscle-bound alpha like Sucio.
There were now five guards holding Sucio down. One was on each limb (which were also manacled), and one kept him in a bear hug from behind. That one behind Sucio winced like he was disgusted when Anthony pulled out of Sucio’s mouth — he was awfully close to the action, getting splashed. Anthony blushed, still unused to being the center of attention.
The guard with Sucio in a bear hug leaned onto his back, forcing Sucio onto his back as well, his big body resting on the guard’s chest. He squirmed but with his chained arms and legs held by the other quartet of guards, there was little Sucio could do.
Officer Bignose pulled on the chains of Sucio’s legs and attached them to the wall nearby. That forced Sucio’s legs up. Anthony pulled those dingy prison-issued boxers up, revealing a thick and meaty ass coated in kinky black hairs and amateur tattoos. His cheeks quivered and tensed — he was clenching his ass.
Not that that was gonna stop Anthony.
When Anthony saw that cock again, he knew he was going to stroke Sucio off — both because he genuinely wanted to, and because he knew he could get Sucio hard in front of the entire cell block. Nothing would be more humiliating than treating Sucio like a bitch and making him like it, in front of every cholo in this joint.
There was a Salvadoran flag tattooed right on Sucio’s dick, its blue and white stripes waving in unseen wind. Anthony gave it a stroke while just resting his dick at the entrance to Sucio’s ass.
“You want this real bad, donchu?” Anthony asked, then repeated it loud enough that he could be heard over the hoots and hollers of the other inmates.
¡Si, él realmente quiere!
Sucio’s body roiled and writhed. He struggled against the guards holding him down, but there was nothing he could do, especially on his back with his legs in the air — he was like a turtle stuck on its back.
“You ever took it in the ass before?” Anthony asked. Sucio shook his head and heaved out some indecipherable syllables, but Anthony couldn’t understand him. He cupped one hand behind his ear as though asking Sucio to speak up. The inmates behind him all roared their approval of Sucio’s humiliation. Anthony smiled and said, in an overly loud voice, “Oh, you loved getting rammed by sumisos?! Well, I got exactly what you want! Don’t worry, I’ll ram you again whenever you want. You just let me know.”
He rammed one finger in Sucio’s ass, keeping his dick right there so Sucio could feel it. His other hand remained on Sucio’s cockshaft, lightly stroking it — it was just a bit hard right now, no doubt more from anxiety than actual arousal.
Sucio arched his back and clenched his ass when Anthony’s pinkie entered him. Anthony laughed and smacked him on the asscheek, over and over until Sucio let go of his clenching for just a second, long enough that Anthony could ram his pinkie all the way in.
The sweat drenched Sucio’s body now, soaking those guards who held him down. They looked like they regretted agreeing to this — they probably enjoyed the idea of holding a giant cholo like Sucio down while he got cornholed — Sucio had been insulting and threatening them for years, after all — but now realized that the actuality of it was more difficult and less satisfying than they had predicted beforehand. His sweaty muscles and coarse black hairs rubbed all over their bodies, especially the burly redneck guard who held onto Sucio’s bare back.
“Gonna get that ass to open up one way or another…” Anthony shouted over the din — that was another thing Sucio had said over and over while cornholing Anthony hard. Anthony did it the same way Sucio had, by strangling him.
His thin, delicate fingers gripped Sucio by the neck and squeezed, just hard enough to make him heave and writhe. It was a sudden enough surprise that his ass unclenched when Anthony let go a moment later, and Anthony rammed his ring finger in alongside his pinkie. Sucio breathlessly gasped, his tongue writhing in his mouth as he tried to shout.
Anthony had been so focused on watching Sucio’s agony that he hadn’t really taken a moment to savor the fingering. With two fingers now in Sucio’s virgin ass, he wiggled them. He loved that tight moistness and he especially enjoyed how Sucio’s dick pulsated in his hands now that Anthony was on his prostate.
“Muy apretado…” Anthony said with a slow smile. The other inmates rushed forward to either join in or clap Anthony on the back, but Officer Bignose waved them away.
He rammed his fingers in and out, each thrust making Sucio contort. His muscles were pulling the guards this way and that as they held him down — they couldn’t quite keep him from moving, but they could keep him from getting up. His chains rattled loud enough to be heard over the roar of the crowd of inmates.
Then Anthony pulled out. He pushed his dick in before Sucio’s ass had time to clench again, but Anthony didn’t want to go too fast. He just put the tip of his dick in and held on as Sucio flexed all over. Motionless, Anthony bit back his burgeoning climax, so he could drag this out.
Pain rattled up and down Sucio’s body; Anthony could see it in the undulating tension in his muscles, which tightened and loosened in waves from his trunk-like thighs to his broad muscles. Those muscles clenched his ass as though to grip Anthony’s cock.
“Taste some ass, puta!” Anthony shouted, too aroused to think of anything wittier to say. He wished he could — Sucio had thought of lots of (relatively) clever insults and threats to shout as he had fucked Anthony, but Anthony couldn’t think of a single one right now. He just laughed as he pushed his ass-slickened fingers into Sucio’s mouth.
Sucio sputtered and gagged as soon as he tasted his own ass. He spat the best he could with an open mouth, but Anthony just wiped his fingers off on Sucio’s tongue, groaning as he slid a few more inches of his manhood into Sucio’s behind.
“You feel it in you, bitch?” Anthony asked. “Huh? You feel my dick in you?”
Sucio shook his head, throwing his neck back and forth. He wasn’t really saying no, probably didn’t even hear Anthony’s question, but Anthony decided to take it as a no.
“Oh, okay, I’ll ram you harder then, so you can feel it!” Anthony said. He smiled as the cholos behind him screamed their approval.
Make ‘im bleed, Anthony! Wreck his ass!
Anthony pistoned his hips, slamming his dick the rest of the way in. He pushed his cock all the way to the root, which made Sucio arch his back. He gasped and choked on the fingers Anthony still kept in his mouth.
Then Anthony remained still for a moment, working on Sucio’s dick. It was rock-hard, but he gathered that Sucio wasn’t even aware; he was in too much pain to notice his erection. Anthony used both hands on the meaty, uncut shaft, then cupped his low-hanging balls. He gathered up all the sweat from Sucio’s own crotch and then wiped it over Sucio’s tongue, which stuck out of his mouth like a panting dog.
He wanted to really humiliate Sucio by making him cum with a dick all the way up his guts. So he stimulated Sucio’s prostate while stroking off his manhood.
The tension was so great that it was actually quite easy — Sucio was too distracted to fight against it, so his body’s instinctual arousal was enough to send him right over the line. His orgasm was painful, bringing tears to his eyes as his asshole clenched around Anthony’s rampaging dick.
Cum sprayed over Sucio’s chest and belly. He blushed a bright red as the other inmates, his fellow gangmates, all roared their shocked approval. Some of the cum missed Sucio’s body and landed on the face of the guard holding onto his right arm, who flinched but didn’t pull away even as the semen dripped down his lips.
Anthony pumped his biceps over Sucio’s body. He knew he looked ridiculous, since he was acting like he had overpowered Sucio when he was actually about a third Sucio’s size. But it felt good to be victorious — Anthony hadn’t felt like a real man since even before Sucio plowed him.
Gathering that the guards were losing patience and weren’t going to hold Sucio down for much longer, Anthony decided to finish up. He had been on the verge of orgasm pretty much since this began, so he focused his energy on going hard. His hands sopped up all that cum and wiped it off on Sucio’s tongue, making Sucio retch, writhe and clench down on Anthony’s dick.
The pain must have been excruciating; Anthony knew well that getting plowed with a clenched asshole was excruciating, and Anthony wasn’t even using lube besides Sucio’s own spit, so it was no doubt tortuous. He rammed his dick back and forth, cackling with laughter as Sucio heaved for breath, gagging on his own cum which he couldn’t wipe away. Anthony made sure that what semen that did leak out his mouth got smeared all over his tattooed face.
When his orgasm finally hit, Anthony pulled out — a part of him wanted to cum inside Sucio’s guts, which would have been humiliating for him, turning his culo into a panocha. But it would have been invisible to all the men watching.
So he pulled out instead. Sucio breathed a deep sigh until he saw that Anthony aimed for his face. He gagged again even before Anthony had made it to his head, a potent orgasm rocketing through Anthony’s body. His dick was more slimy than he had ever seen it — Sucio’s ass had really reacted to the hardcore fucking, excreting copious fluids that clung to his cockshaft.
He managed to get his dick in Sucio’s mouth just moments before he came. Sucio wretched and writhed, and spat up a big ball of bile that just leaked out over his face. Anthony groaned as the orgasm finally hit him. His little lithe body writhed, ass clenching and fingers gripping Sucio’s face tightly.
Anthony had never seen someone retch so badly. He shot a huge load right into Sucio’s gullet, but Sucio just spat it right back up. Cum dripped from his lips and coated his face, alongside that slimy assjuice that Anthony brought back from Sucio’s hole. His face was shiny with fluids, eyes scrunched up and flashing bright.
A long, loud sigh escaped from Anthony’s lips as he finally fell limp. His knees buckled, the orgasm so intense he could barely support himself. He used Sucio’s meaty belly for support, and he tweaked Sucio’s nipples.
Finally the guards — disgusted by all the fluids that had leaked to every inch of Sucio’s body — slipped away. Sucio dropped to the ground and landed with a thud. He writhed and rolled over, groaning as he tried to get to his feet. He winced in pain every time he moved, just like Anthony had when he had been led away from the infirmary.
Officer Bignose grabbed the chain attached to Sucio’s neck and pulled until Sucio could do nothing more than pull against the chain, n his knees. Bignose pulled the mouthguard off and Sucio screamed a litany of Spanish insults. He couldn’t reach his face to wipe off.
“Shut your mouth, or we’re all gonna ram you!” Bignose said. Sucio couldn’t breathe with his chain pulled taut, so he soon had no choice but to fall silent. Bignose cleared his throat. “I’m gonna take you back to solitary to chill out for awhile. You’re a bitch now. You’ll have to accept that.” The other inmates roared their approval, but Bignose waved them quiet with one hand. “Now thank Inmate Delunez.” Sucio pulled against the chain again as he growled, but Bignose snapped it tight. Sucio sputtered, spit dripping past his lips. Bignose smiled. “Thank him.” When Sucio didn’t respond right away, Bignose whispered something in his ear.
Sucio blanched. “Thank you… Anthony,” he said through gritted teeth. “I… am alegre you done ram me.”
“Why, you’re welcome, Sucio, de nada. Anytime, I’d be alegre to ram you again.” Anthony held his hand up.
Sucio narrowed his eyes but kissed Anthony’s hand like a suitor wooing his girl. Anthony giggled at the sight of his big cholo body being dragged away. The other inmates clapped Anthony on the back, congratulating him and Anthony’s red face smiled.
The pain in his ass had diminished entirely, and Anthony was beginning to think his prison stay might not be as bad as it had initially seemed. He wondered if he could afford to buy a bitch, and if so, he knew exactly which one it would be. Anthony strode back to his cell like a returning champion.

just slightly plump, perfectly round, with tits like headlights on a Mercedes

“Shit, I couldn’t get my arms all the way around that bitch-” Banter was interrupted by niggas laughing like hyenas. His lor-nigga voice rose above ’em. “I was fuckin’ her, got lost in her tits, swear to God. Had to send a signal flare up to find my way out. Called my sister to come find me.”

“Shit, I couldn’t get my arms all the way around that bitch-” Banter was interrupted by niggas laughing like hyenas. His lor-nigga voice rose above ’em. “I was fuckin’ her, got lost in her tits, swear to God. Had to send a signal flare up to find my way out. Called my sister to come find me.”
Them all was laughing hard as iron, shit. Thumper wanna stick his dick in Banter right now, he got a hardon cuzza this nurse, Nurse Hilary, who came by and took his blood pressure today. Heart doc say Thumper got a rhythm, gotta get his blood pressure took every week. Nurse Hilary was pretty as a brand-new sponge, and she always do get this nigga blood flowing!
Thumper heard this story before. Banter fucked a Polish grandmother who was crazy fat. That was the story. Not muchuva tale really. She had fat-chick tits and a fat-chick ass, with a pussy Banter himself could crawl into and read a book if he brung a flashlight. He coulda read The Gnash and the Bile.
But there ain’t no point in hearing about it in prison where no such females existed. There was only Nurse Hilary, who was just slightly plump, perfectly round, with tits like headlights on a Mercedes.

From Deep on the Downlow

Dimples cute as a baby otter

omen expect a nigga to make ‘em happy, so if a nigga is glum, she gonna think he won’t ever make her happy.

Rico did got dimples cute as a baby otter, bitches love that. Maybe his frowns turn ‘em off though. Women expect a nigga to make ‘em happy, so if a nigga is glum, she gonna think he won’t ever make her happy. Thumper did tell Rico that, that he gotsta be more agreeable, but Rico plussed, cuzza him not liking it when old niggas tell him what to do.

From Deep on the Downlow

they kept getting new guitarists cuz the previous ones kept killing themselves

The whole thing made Thumper dislike everything in the world more.

The music was awful. The women was good, but the music was some titless female singing along with this weird guitar music, disjointed and jaggey, like they kept getting new guitarists cuz the previous ones kept killing themselves. The song was about “black girl magic”, but the singer was a white bitch, sounded like, and the whole thing made Thumper dislike everything in the world more.

From Deep on the Downlow

Buttnugget rock pooping outta the speakers

Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.

Eventually Thumper and Jamella got to dancing to the buttnugget rock pooping outta the speakers, shit, music got so bad in the last thirty-four years, what happened? Thumper do blame Obama. You seen that nigga dance? He ruint it. He ruint it for the whole country.
But Thumper and Jamella was both proper niggas, not Kenyans, so they danced like ain’t nothing matter. Rico was much too cool to dance. He sat at the table drinking his whatever like a lonely lasagna.

From Deep on the Downlow

A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That’s what it means to keep it real.

You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That’s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out. “You can’t back out now.”

“I don’t wanna fuck with Jamella,” Rico said. Thumper ain’t tell him he set up a threesome til it was too late for Rico to back out.
“Uh-huh,” Thumper said with a shrug. “You don’t gotta enjoy it. Get drunk first. It’ll be okay. You can just lick her pussy while I fuck her-“
“Ewwwcck, no way!”
“You ain’t lemme finish, nigga,” Thumper said. He waited until Rico quieted his frown, then Thumper said, “You can lick her pussy while I fuck her gooo-ood.”
“I ain’t doin’ that,” Rico said. He shook his head like a owl. “No way. That’s so nasty.”
“You don’t lick pussy?”
“Not while a old nigga is fuckin’ it!”
“Aw, c’mon, nigga. I’ll let you slurp on my dick,” Thumper said.

“No!” Rico screwed up his face like a screw. “I wanna go to a New Year’s party,” he said. “I’m sure there’s a bunch. I saw some on LocalNights.” Rico paused. “That’s that app-“
“What’d I say ’bout tellin’ me to get a app-?” Thumper wagged his finger at Rico.
“I didn’t say to download it! I just said what it is!” He threw his hands up.
“You is — shit, nigga — I don’t wanna hear about no app! I wanna do things the right way!”
“Okay, okay, okay-“
Thumper side-eyed Rico. “Watchin’ videos of other niggas playing video games, shit, nigga…”
“I’m not, I didn’t! I didn’t put that on!” Rico said. He gestured to the teevee, which was off. “Damn, old nigga!”

“You done piss me off! And that’s why I is makin’ you go through with it,” Thumper said. That part weren’t true, he was always gonna make Rico do it. A nigga should fuck a ugly bitch sometimes. That‘s what it means to keep it real. Niggas don’t explain, you gotsta figger it out. “You can’t back out now.”
“It’s not backing out, I never agreed! I You only just told me.”
“That’s right, I told you.” Thumper grabbed Rico’s ass through his clean jeans. His white bitch was with her girlfriends tonight. They got a New Year’s Eve tradition, and it don’t involve sucking Rico’s dick, so he got nothing to do.
“Get off me, old nigga!” Rico said, slapping Thumper’s hand away. “I’s serious, that old bitch is ugly! I don’t wanna fuck her!”
“I’ll turn the lights off,” Thumper said. And he meant that too. Jamella weren’t ugly, but she was prettier in the dark. He ain’t yet say that Rico was gonna hafta lick her asshole to open it up, so Thumper could fuck it. Thumper do that hisself most times, but he was tired of the taste, and Rico got a nice clean tongue.

From Deep on the Downlow

On uncrustables

It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist.

Inside the apartment, Jamella said something incomprehensivish and snuggled onto the couch, where she fell asleep fast as a drunk bitch on a couch. Thumper stood there like a disappointed nigga with a hardon and a sigh lingering in his lungs.
“What’s wrong?” Rico asked. He done microwave up a “uncrustable”. You hearda that? It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but it comes frozen and don’t got no crust on the bread. It’s the single limpest-dick thing to ever exist. A uncrustable is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for niggas whose mamas don’t love ‘em. Weak as lipton tea. Shit’s bullshit, nigga.

From Deep on the Downlow

Lipton tea and Uncrustables are trademarks of the whoever, I dunno, look it up yourselves, dumbasses.

A high-protein cracker

He was watching Shark Tank and eagered to see the result of the pitch, so he went back to the teevee then. Honky bitch both invented and was a high-protein cracker.

He was watching Shark Tank and eagered to see the result of the pitch, so he went back to the teevee then. Honky bitch both invented and was a high-protein cracker.

From Deep on the Downlow

The jawn was bumping. It was nice that they ain’t gotta walk nowhere, just go down the stairs and boop, there they was, in Lipsweet, surrounded by girls in tight things that showed off they other things. They got asses too!
Girls got nice asses now! Asses got better in the thirty-four years Thumper was in prison. Tits is flabbier though, and lips got worse. Why did lips even change?
And eyebrows!? Back before, ain’t no man ever notice a woman’s eyebrows. Shit, if you surveyed men, they wouldn’t even remember if women got eyebrows. But women done spent the last thirty-four years coming up with innovative and unattractive things to do to they eyebrows.

From Deep on the Downlow

Rico’s frown was exponential

Frowning spread like a bat virus while Thumper was locked up. Young folks be frowning at everything. Dissatisfaction rained like a queen’s pee-pee.

Rico’s eyes went open wide. “What if I wanna fuck a bitch?”
Thumper shrugged. “If she down, we’ll double-tap her. Thwack-thwack. That’s our balls slappin’ togethuh, nigga. Mine’s the louder sound. Thwack-thwack-“
“Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-” Rico was doing his best impression of a broken record. But Thumper got no time for naysaying.
Bet nobody even knows what a “broken record” is no more. Thumper asked Rico how a nigga listen to music nowadays, and Rico stopped his complaining about the bed long enough to give a very complicated answer. It was basically “on the phone”, nigga gotta call into some cloud or something. He kept saying “I Heart Radio”, but then when Thumper said there was music on the radio, Rico reacted like Thumper just lit a baby on fire.

He was mad on the frown train. Rico was a conductor on that train. He frowned at every single thing Thumper took outta his duffel bag. Thumper’s clothes was old and faded and mouse-nibbled, which made Rico double his frown. Thumper’s soap was in bar form, which Rico said was old-fashioned and awful — apparently a enlightened modern-day nigga do use “body wash” — that led to another doubling of Rico’s frown. Thumper had a box of tea, which Rico said only elderly honkies drank. Rico’s frown was exponential by then.
That turned out to be a theme with young people. Frowning spread like a bat virus while Thumper was locked up. Young folks be frowning at everything. Dissatisfaction rained like a queen’s pee-pee.

From Deep on the Downlow