MN Manmacker's mansploitation
Steel said he had to come along because “occupational conventions are the devil’s pot roast”. Avery had never thought about pot roast like that.
Steel said he had to come along because “occupational conventions are the devil’s pot roast”. Avery had never thought about pot roast like that.
That’s yo’ addiction layin’ its toll on yo’ mind, like a toll road on yo’ mind, chargin’ a toll… in yo’ mind. Yo’ mind is both the road and the destination. And the toll.
“You gonna be,” he said. “Is it makin’ you sick? Real work sickenin’ you? That’s yo’ addiction layin’ its toll on yo’ mind, like a toll road on yo’ mind, chargin’ a toll… in yo’ mind. Yo’ mind is both the road and the destination. And the toll. You still gotta puke. Prolly got booze in yo’ belly still, and it’s brewing up a pot of lazy liver. It’s tellin’ you you don’t gotta improve yo’self, you just fine the way you is.” Steel clapped his hands, so high-energy now that spittle flecked his lips.
Avery quaked about it and shrank away from him, no longer even trying to lift the bar. Steel kept looking down at him and moved up the bench press to stay alongside him. “It’s wrong! You ain’t fine — life is a struggle to remain on the Christian road, you feel me? A struggle of brotherhood is another good, y’all! If you ain’t workin’ on improvement, you drifting off the foredained road.” He paused. “Foetained? Foretained. The foretained road.” He scrunched up his eyes. “The frodained road?”
He flapped his hands at his ears — presumably his impression of a fish’s gills — Avery suspected Steel did not know what gills were.
“You like a fish denying water is real, and you gonna keep denying it till you finally flop onto land and find yo’ gills don’t work no mo’,” Steel said. He flapped his hands at his ears — presumably his impression of a fish’s gills — Avery suspected Steel did not know what gills were. “You look queasy. You gonna go pukey-ookey, whiteboy?!”
“You as dis’ppointing as that movie — that dumb one, wit’ the wine — got that Asian chick who look like a horse — you ever see that one? — Nevermind, I can’t remember — you done dis’ppoint me, son.”
“Whatchoo doin’, whiteboy? You little snotrag. You oozin’ disappointments right now. You as dis’ppointing as that movie — that dumb one, wit’ the wine — got that Asian chick who look like a horse — you ever see that one? — Nevermind, I can’t remember — you done dis’ppoint me, son.” He paused. “Wine is how the devil corrupts the grape.” He looked to one corner of his eyes as he considered whether that was profound or dumb. He couldn’t decide, so he took out his phone and said it again into his voice-recognition note-taking app.
“That metaphor got away from me, Avery, sorry ’bout that. But I can help you wit’ any of them succumbations.”
“So if you need help with any of that, with gang stuff-” He flashed gang signs and a grave mien. “-with money troubles, with getting horny and needing to get yo’ dingaling dirty, I understand how it goes,” Steel said. He kissed the air. “I am gonna support you, my brother. I be like the fence-post for the chain-links… of yo’… yo’, yo’ fence-brain. The fence, of, yo’ — if yo’ brain was a yard, and it got a fence.” He paused and blinked a few times. “That metaphor got away from me, Avery, sorry ’bout that. But I can help you wit’ any of them succumbations.”
The Lebanese barrack was dappled with sheets and them nightgown-like things they wore. It smelled of obscure spices, like some sorta stank potpourri, like grandma’s kitchen if yo’ grandmama was a hairy sailor.
Waaaay too much body hair for Steel’s notions. The UN oughta shave all the Muslims. All they body hair is like pubes too. That’s what distinguishes Arabs from Persians. Persians got nice silky body hair. Arabs was like if steel wool got turned into a real boy. A unpleasant and aggressive real boy.
The Lebanese barrack was dappled with sheets and them nightgown-like things they wore, Steel don’t know what none that’s called. All them clothes was hung up to dry. It smelled of obscure spices, like some sorta stank potpourri, like grandma’s kitchen if yo’ grandmama was a hairy sailor. Steel ain’t like it one bit. And goddamn was the place a forest of chest hair. Steel could taste it from the doorway, like a copper penny baking on a sandy beach. Makes a nigga’s fillings wiggle.
One of ’em got that bristly body hair going over his shoulders and all the way down his back, like he was slowly turning into a carpet. One of ’em was wearing an Aladdin hat too, a real nice one. Arabs got good hat game. He gotsta to give ’em that one. They hat game was on point.
From Steel the Roughneck
Lem got theories on why Italians was so awful, and he explainified them to Steel till Steel told him to get on with it.
Lem got theories on why Italians was so awful, and he explainified them to Steel till Steel told him to get on with it. Steel got no distruck with Italians. He could eat the fuck outta some pizza too, the Portuguese cooks on the rig make pizza, but they makes it weird as Chinese beards. It’s on like flatbread or something. And they don’t even put pepperoni on it! Portugal’s a fucked-up place. Anyway, Steel got no hate for Portuguese crackers, nor Italians, but Lem got reasons to hate on every race. Every reason was unique to that race, but he got a million of ’em. Lem was an anthopplist of stereotyping.
From Steel the Roughneck
They was something, and whatever they was, it wasn’t right.
“Ohh-zshoo-woo-joo!” One of ’em said, or sumpin’ similar, Steel don’t listen to no Haitian voodoo. If it ain’t Christ, it ain’t right! But Steel did watch the video about respecting diversity on the oil rig, and he ain’t tell the Haitians they was some devil-worshipping pagans. Maybe. Steel don’t actually know what “pagan” means. But they was something, and whatever they was, it wasn’t right.
From Steel the Roughneck
In prison, Steel saw a documentary, and it turned out lizards drink mad water, like desert lizards when it floods, they be guzzling that! Lizards is wise motherfuckers. Drink when it floods, nigga!
“Shit… Once I get my first paycheck, nigga, I’mma get so much liquor — we gonna be drinking like lizards after our first leave, Lem.” In prison, Steel saw a documentary, and it turned out lizards drink mad water, like desert lizards when it floods, they be guzzling that! Lizards is wise motherfuckers. Drink when it floods, nigga!
From Steel the Roughneck
Ain’t it crazy how all locker rooms smell like honky feet? Even the ones white people don’t use.
Ain’t it crazy how all locker rooms smell like honky feet? Even the ones white people don’t use. That do make a nigga think!
From Steel the Roughneck