Category: Winston Steel explains it all

The world is like a cookie in that they both crumbles

The tall one was like Serbian or some shit. Not a proper honky in Steel’s notions.

They was watching a basketball game in the rec yard. He was impressed by this tall-ass white man whose name Steel don’t recollect right now, but he was like seven feet tall, and Tony was impressed by his skills. Steel was not. A tall man was automatically good at basketball. Takes more than that to impress Steel.
The tall one was like Serbian or some shit. Not a proper honky in Steel’s notions.

….

The game was over, the niggas won, cuz of course they did, and, ‘cept for that white giant, both teams was niggas, cuz of course they was. That’s how the world crumbles or however that goes. The world is like a cookie in that they both crumbles, that’s a wisdom right there! Tony was rooting for the team with the white man on it. Steel rooted for the opposite team cuz otherwise him and Tony’d just be sitting there agreeing with each other.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Ain’t nobody allowed to moo at Vagina-Candy.

Niggas was mooing at this prison guard named Vagina-Candy cuz he was Hindu and the rumor spread he couldn’t enforce a rule against nothing that moos

Anyway, we’ll breeze past the next couple hours, cuz it was a buncha boredom, there was supper and some dumbass announcement from the warden — niggas was mooing at this prison guard named Vagina-Candy cuz he was Hindu and the rumor spread he couldn’t enforce a rule against nothing that moos, whenever Officer Vagina-Candy lead a line to mess or something, all them all, like hundreds of inmates just start mooing, and Vagina-Candy be freaking out and shit, Warden said it was a religious and ethnic diversity. Anyway, he acted like it was a fucking genocide. Warden get on the loudspeaker talking about the Holocaust and shit! Making all these rules! Ain’t nobody allowed to moo at Vagina-Candy. Warden gonna put people in solitary if they moo. Actually made a no-mooing rule. It’s prolly still in the rulebook.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

That’s how they get ya, for every definition of “they” and “get” and “ya”

Anyway again, he did it again, and then again, cuz Whiteness pressured him into doing it a third time. And then Steel knew he was in a bad place. That’s how they get ya, for every definition of “they” and “get” and “ya”. A nigga be purporting he can say no right up until the moment he flap his lips. By then the line is way in his rear-view mirror.

Anyway again, he did it again, and then again, cuz Whiteness pressured him into doing it a third time. And then Steel knew he was in a bad place. That’s how they get ya, for every definition of “they” and “get” and “ya”. A nigga be purporting he can say no right up until the moment he flap his lips. By then the line is way in his rear-view mirror.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

He went to the Aryan Way’s cell block, which smelled bad of honky armpits.

Put a buncha white men together, they end up smelling like a loaf of bread slathered in mayonnaise and kept in a cool dark place

He went to the Aryan Way’s cell block, which smelled bad of honky armpits. Put a buncha white men together, they end up smelling like a loaf of bread slathered in mayonnaise and kept in a cool dark place

From Winston Steel & the White Man

you google it

Steel wanna dip his dingdong in that bitch like she the spicy mustard from McDonald’s.

He saw a white woman Saturday, fell madly in love with her, asked her out, she said yes, then he sent like thirty text messages, which apparently was “creepy” and “over the line” and she said it weren’t gonna work out, and she blocked him before he even composited together a response. Blocked him on the phone and on Facebook! Double whammy! She was built like a sexy skunk, like that French one, ass like a barrel of love, shit! Steel wanna dip his dingdong in that bitch like she the spicy mustard from McDonald’s, she got black hair with sorta curls, but not you know, and anyway, she talk like an angel, she got one them smooth country-girl voices, like you could just picture her reading poetry and riding a horse. Prolly not at the same time, that sounds difficult, but you know, on the same day anyway. Like in a “riding crop” maybe, Steel don’t know what that is and he’s too much in love to google it, you google it, but she dumped him just cuz he got long-winded with the texts, he wanna make sure she understand how pretty she is and how Steel felt cuz not many women make him feel like that, shit, she like a rail of coke, she do get a nigga started.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

He’d make a great cow.

The grass is always greener on the other side of a white man, that’s what Steel always says. He’d make a great cow.

Whiteness called him nigger afronta all his white-ass buddies, but he called him Winston when they was alone. That gave Steel the shiver-his-timbers. He would prefer it if Whiteness called him nigger all the time. Him not saying it when they was alone made it clear he don’t give a shit about the color of a man’s skin. He’s just performatively racist, which is worse than real racism. Or maybe, if he did call Steel a nigger when they was alone, Steel would be thinking it’d be better if he don’t think that way in private. The grass is always greener on the other side of a white man, that’s what Steel always says. He’d make a great cow.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Clits pee a tax tour, y’all!

You wanna hear something funny? Go find an episode of Masterchef, maybe season seven or eight or so, a young Chinese man fucks up. You will never hear anything funnier than a sobbing Chinaman attempting to say ‘crispy texture’, it’s hilarious.

You wanna hear something funny? Go find an episode of Masterchef, maybe season seven or eight or so, a young Chinese man fucks up. You will never hear anything funnier than a sobbing Chinaman attempting to say ‘crispy texture’, it’s hilarious. Clits pee a tax tour, y’all!

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Every time like a watch.

Steel was still letting the demon of alcoholism haunt his brain, so he ain’t even conisder saying no. Addiction gonna put you in that position every single time.

Steel was still letting the demon of alcoholism haunt his brain, so he ain’t even conisder saying no. Addiction gonna put you in that position every single time. Every time! Every time like a watch.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

she got tits like liquid polar bears in sacs of milk and honey

the women here was the kinda sturdy, trashy bitch who prolly got names like Wilma or Sparkplug.

Steel do love spending time with ladies. Not just white women neither, but tonight, Steel want a white lady. A white lady with a name like Courtney or Beth. She’d prolly taste like a sunrise. Steel was imagineering a hypothetical Courtney when he opened the door to the rollicking bar.
Turned out the women was all drunk. Steel realized that the moment he stepped in and saw ’em flopping, jiggling they stuff, guzzling, straight-up guzzling beer and bourbon and all kinda tasty beverages. No doubt quenching they thirsts! No doubt! Rum! He was still picturing a pretty Courtney who was like a college student, maybe in nursing college, that’d be hot, with a nice face and clean hair, prolly wearing like a miniskirt or something, you know how white bitches do! That weren’t the kinda white women in Lipsweet though. The Jagged Right was a biker gang, so the women here was the kinda sturdy, trashy bitch who prolly got names like Wilma or Sparkplug.
That one honky, the one who took the beer Steel ain’t drink, he seemed to think Steel only wanted liquor and went off to get him a shotta bourbon, but then he got drunkenly distracted cuz one the white bitches — prolly a Wilma — took her top off, and she got tits like liquid polar bears in sacs of milk and honey, shit, got that honky tripping. Steel too.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

They shoulda sent a poet, y’all!

He been clean as a fiend for nine months. A female could birth a baby in that time. All it takes is a lady, a dingdong and the good Lord above! And health insurance and a midwife and at least one Asian…

Winston Steel got no desire to drink. He been clean as a fiend for nine months. A female could birth a baby in that time. All it takes is a lady, a dingdong and the good Lord above! And health insurance and a midwife and at least one Asian and a hospital and thousands of dollars and and a stork and opiates and a paira scissors to cut the cord with.
So actually it takes a lotta things to birth a baby. But exactly nine months, that much is firm. Unless it’s less or sometimes more.
They shoulda sent a poet, y’all!

From Winston Steel & the White Man