MN Manmacker's mansploitation
She got no hankering for no elderly homeboy who smelled like a basement. She want whiteboy dingdong, most likeishly.
She ported a tray of drinks past the front door and delivered a curtsy nod at Buck. Him and Lem stopped short, though she ain’t have eyes fer Lem, prolly cuz she got no hankering for no elderly homeboy who smelled like a basement. She want whiteboy dingdong, most likeishly.
From Buck on the Oil Rig
They learnt from a mandatory video that the most important part of drilling fer oil was respeck fer diversity.
Whatever status made Habib hafta put Buck’s and Lem’s feet in his mouth, it might as well be slavery. They ain’t ax cuz they ain’t wanna be distolerant of his culture — they learnt from a mandatory video that the most important part of drilling fer oil was respeck fer diversity.
Imagine that! The most important part! That wrinkled Buck’s brain.
From Buck on the Oil Rig
Buck best not say shit ’bout Lem looking like a tire that exploded on the highway.
Lem was a young cat then, built like a steel mill, not like that portly hillbilly Buck, who got a fat hairy ass like a ape with a ugly mama, yes he do, and he best not say shit ’bout Lem looking like a tire that exploded on the highway.
From Buck on the Oil Rig
Lem done ate his fried chicken and sides. He don’t eat Muslim food, and the curries give his belly the bumptions. He do stick to American food.
Lem don’t eat Muslim food, and the curries give his belly the bumptions. He do stick to American food.
But Buck was still filling his barrel with curry goat and Cuban picadeeyo. Buck ain’t reckon that that rice don’t go with the sauce cuz he ain’t read the placards labeling each thang. “I’s gonna be fartin’ up a storm tonight-“
“Don’chu eat that curry!” Lem said.
“You might wanna get ya nose removed b’fore lights-out, Lemmy.”
“Don’chu call me Lemmy! That’s — you’s bein’ drogatory, Buckums, that’s — that’s prolly racist, and I won’t take it from some hillbilly sister-fucker-“
“I don’t got a sister, Lem.”
“-who look like a cartoon basset hound-“
“Fuck you, Lem, you look like a hobo. I think you tried-a redd up my windshield fer a dollah back in Abilene-“
“Hurry up and eat, whiteboy!” Lem wanna drink, he wanna get back to the dead-end and drink. He thinked Buck ain’t know t’was why Lem got hurry in his bones, but Buck knewed. Buck may be a hillbilly, but he know which way was up.
“Stop talkin’ to me then!” Buck said. He shoved another fullawful fulla pepper slaw in his mouth. “I is eatin’ e’ery single one these fullawfuls, old head!”
From Buck on the Oil Rig
One day soon all the whiteboys gonna get replaced by a broken dildo plugged in to a bossy computer, and the world gonna rejoice.
“I done say it b’fore, Lem, you don’t know nuttin’ ’bout whiteboy dick.” Buck screwed up his eyes down at his dick in Lem’s hand. It was limpening cuzza Lem’s sandpapery skin. “Ya old-man meat discomfit me — why’s it look like a burnt hot dog? Sheeit, looks like a hot dog made wit’ too much skin, then lit on fire, then locked in a dehydratuh fer a decade.”
“Yo’ dick is uglier than mine, hillbilly. Axe any female in the world, they’ll tell you. It’s impossible to orgasm wit’ a white cock. Women need nigga meat.” Lem got both hands on Buck’s dick now, sorta rubbing it but more petting it like a disliked cat. “One day soon all the whiteboys gonna get replaced by a broken dildo plugged in to a bossy computer, and the world gonna rejoice.”
Buck scoffed. “World got no use fer homeboys already, Lem. Somebody done invent rhyming diction’ries and robots that can shoot each othuh.” His laughter made his cockfat jiggle limp as a dead eel in Lem’s hand.
From Buck on the Oil Rig
The nurse got a sweet face and big bosoms stretching the fabric of her uniform top.
The nurse got a sweet face and big bosoms stretching the fabric of her uniform top. E’erybody stayed talking heavy with a hotness ’bout the sultry Nurse Hilary. Buck ain’t seed her till now. Now, Buck liketa burst outta the briefs she had him strip to. She smiled up at him.
Buck was feeling oafy and big, so’s his burnished cheeks turnt burgundy. She mighta said sump’in else, but all Buck could think ’bout was her bosoms.
Like cantaloupes, they was, big ripe juicy cantaloupes.
Pretty ladies with dark hair and flashing smiles, bare shoulders that left little to the imagination…
There was three right there near the port, pretty ladies with dark hair and flashing smiles, bare shoulders that left little to the imagination. Jeb’s eyes opened wide at the one of them, the short one, with a blouse that showed off her cleavage’s curves and a short skirt that revealed her creamy thighs.
Jeb ain’t never seen a woman’s thighs go up that high.
From Jeb the Farmboy
This bitch would fall in love wit’ me if we met, and you know I would put it to her good. She look like she know things, you get me.
“This bitch would fall in love wit’ me if we met, and you know I would put it to her good. She look like she know things, you get me, you can feel it coming outta her,” Lem said vociferously. Despite that, he didn’t even show the magazine to them, he just kept talking about the woman in it. He seemed to have forgotten that he started talking about her to compare her to the prostitute at the brothel in town where the roughnecks got leave but now was talking about her in her own right. “I wouldn’t settle down wit’ her though. She don’t look like a one-man kinda woman, bet on it. She be out flippin’ her pussy at any man with dollahs to spare! Believe that!”
You ain’t in some flooze trap in a port town no more, son. You in civilized society now. Best act propuh.
“Then take her home. You got a right to despoil a female in yo’ own home, so long as you don’t drag her in there,” Officer Goober said. He wagged his finger at Buck. “This ain’t a red-light district. You on the mary-jane, son?”
“No! I ain’t a hippie,” Buck said.
“You ain’t under arrest, but I’m taking you to the jailhouse,” Officer Goober said. “You can sleep it off there. No charges filed. I understand you strugglin’ to recommendate to the civilian life. You gotsta get a handle on yo’self. You ain’t in some flooze trap in a port town no more, son. You in civilized society now. Best act propuh.” Then he added with a derisive sneer, “No coppin’ no feels on Goober’s watch, nossuh.”
Buck is out of prison again, and he’s up to his old tricks! He’s got a plan to stay out, but will it work? Buck is a muscle-bound ex-con redneck who doesn’t want to go back to prison and doesn’t want a reputation as a jailhouse booty bandit… but even more than that, he wants to stick his rod in anything that moves! So he’s got to satisfy his needs on the DL, even if that means holding down some hobos, addicts and losers, while doing the dirty in the dirt!
