MN Manmacker's mansploitation
Their marriage was in Rehobeth Beach, Delaware. Imagine getting married in Delaware! She must really love him.
But for the first time in a long time, he got an intense and sudden fear of growing old and being alone. Everybody was getting married these days, it seemed, including Jessie and Edmund. Their marriage was in Rehobeth Beach, Delaware.
Imagine getting married in Delaware! She must really love him.
From Desmond Seeks Alphas
“Oh a Delaware bitch? Never marry a Delaware bitch, Gordon. That’s Rule One,” Mason said softly. He giggled girlishly and clutched Gordon’s bicep. “She’s remarkably stable and nice for a Delaware bitch.”
“Blue hatchback with Delaware tags.”
“Oh a Delaware bitch? Never marry a Delaware bitch, Gordon. That’s Rule One,” Mason said softly. He giggled girlishly and clutched Gordon’s bicep. “She’s remarkably stable and nice for a Delaware bitch.”
He phoned out to see if he got a app that could build, deliver and install plumbing before his next poop.
But there ain’t no such app. Not everything’s a phone yet!
“Where is this cabin, the nineteenth century? Shit, nigga!” Rico stamped his foot, furrowing his handsome forehead at the buckets like they might turn into a shower somehow. He phoned out to see if he got a app that could build, deliver and install plumbing before his next poop.
But there ain’t no such app. Not everything’s a phone yet! Plumbers still out there making bank, y’all!
Rico need a nigga to hold his hand every step of the way. Young folks is like that now!
Thumper ain’t know what GPS was, but he sensed Rico did, so he said okay. It turned out GPS was the lady who read out directions on the phone.
You know you can replace that lady with like Denzel Washington or some shit? Only black females they got was Oprah Winfrey and some British bitch who the internet said won fourth place in a bake-off. But Thumper accidentally made it Hilary Clinton and couldn’t put it back, so he was glad to not use GPS. He could look where the car was going.
A nigga oughta use his eyes to see. That’s in the Bible, look it up!
Rico pouted though when he hadta follow the directions Thumper read out to him. Rico was young. He need Hilary Clinton saying “turn left here” and “go straight through this intersection”, shit, Rico need a nigga to hold his hand every step of the way. Young folks is like that now! Not just niggas neither, whiteboys too, and Thumper seen a Asian retard at the store — even Asians got retards now! Wouldn’t a-happened before!
You know bitches get they flaps contoured? They bleach they assholes too. Bleach! Asshole oughta be nasty, Thumper thunk, that’s how you know it’s worth it!
All females in the movies acquire plastic surgeons like baseball cards till they look like zombies with a fresh coat of paint. Thumper’d still fuck ’em, but he’d rather fuck that old bitch Ethel, who was ugly as spillt milk but at least she was a living human.
You know bitches get they flaps contoured? They bleach they assholes too. Bleach! Asshole oughta be nasty, Thumper thunk, that’s how you know it’s worth it! Pussies got more maintenance than golf courses nowadays. A nigga need a screwdriver and a building permit to eat a bitch out.
Thumper saw a netflick, it was so boring he slept for five hours without getting up to piss.
A modern nigga need the teevee. Thumper spent his prison sentence wondering what kinda good stuff on teevee he was missing, and the answer was: nothing. They ain’t make a single show worth watching while he was locked up.
And movies be dumb as boots nowadays, swear to God, Thumper be bugging. He went to a movie with that old bitch Ethel, it got this white female who was mostly lips, buncha jubilous niggas, whole thing is basically a cartoon, they do it on computers. It’s all a green screen till they put the shit in, and the jokes don’t even make sense unless you read the right comments on the internet. A nigga needta download a software update to get the dialogue.
And don’t even get Thumper started on the music!
In maybe his best decision ever, Sharnell agreed with Thumper about the movies. He said they got good horror movies nowadays though, but they ain’t netflicks. Sharnell frowned on netflicks. Thumper saw a netflick, it was so boring he slept for five hours without getting up to piss. That made it a good movie in Thumper’s notions. Damn netflick was so dull it fixed his bladder neck! Gotta pay for the movie every month if you wanna keep it though. Shit’s bullshit, nigga.
They can join the list of body parts that don’t work. His heart, his “bladder neck”, his left shoulder, his sinuses, some kinda flap in his throat, his knees and elbows, ankles, fingers, ears.
Goddamn the sun was bright. Did it always usedta be that bright? It ain’t seem like it when Thumper was young and got knees and elbows that worked. Maybe his eyes got old too. They can join the list of body parts that don’t work. His heart, his “bladder neck”, his left shoulder, his sinuses, some kinda flap in his throat, his knees and elbows, ankles, fingers, ears. He need a niggaectomy.
To Rocky, it still felt like he got outta prison last night, like everything since then was a dream. He was unsure he’d ever acclimate to the outside world. He’d spent five years in there, and all five of those years clung to him still like a fragrant armpit
To Rocky, it still felt like he got outta prison last night, like everything since then was a dream. He was unsure he’d ever acclimate to the outside world. He’d spent five years in there, and all five of those years clung to him still like a fragrant armpit.
From Rocky the Ex-Con
Thumper smoked weed on the reg, did lines of coke now and then, snorted heroin once when he thought it was coke, and he did something unpleasant called salvia that caused reality to ooze and twist like funnel-cake batter in hot oil.
In his early years in prison, Thumper smoked weed on the reg, did lines of coke now and then, snorted heroin once when he thought it was coke, and he did something unpleasant called salvia that caused reality to ooze and twist like funnel-cake batter in hot oil. Once he got out though, he ain’t give none that no mind. The outside world was crazy enough for him.
They got Asian hobos now. Asians! Wouldn’t-a happened before. Bill looked at Thumper like a racist telescope when he pointed that out to him.
From Thumper on Parole