Category: Content

You don’t know nuttin’ ’bout whiteboy dick

One day soon all the whiteboys gonna get replaced by a broken dildo plugged in to a bossy computer, and the world gonna rejoice.

“I done say it b’fore, Lem, you don’t know nuttin’ ’bout whiteboy dick.” Buck screwed up his eyes down at his dick in Lem’s hand. It was limpening cuzza Lem’s sandpapery skin. “Ya old-man meat discomfit me — why’s it look like a burnt hot dog? Sheeit, looks like a hot dog made wit’ too much skin, then lit on fire, then locked in a dehydratuh fer a decade.”
“Yo’ dick is uglier than mine, hillbilly. Axe any female in the world, they’ll tell you. It’s impossible to orgasm wit’ a white cock. Women need nigga meat.” Lem got both hands on Buck’s dick now, sorta rubbing it but more petting it like a disliked cat. “One day soon all the whiteboys gonna get replaced by a broken dildo plugged in to a bossy computer, and the world gonna rejoice.”
Buck scoffed. “World got no use fer homeboys already, Lem. Somebody done invent rhyming diction’ries and robots that can shoot each othuh.” His laughter made his cockfat jiggle limp as a dead eel in Lem’s hand.

From Buck on the Oil Rig

Shit gets real on the oil rig

Content

  • A curtsy nod
    She got no hankering for no elderly homeboy who smelled like a basement. She want whiteboy dingdong, most likeishly.
  • He mighta been made outta old coffee grounds
    Don’choo tell me I smell like coffee grounds, you smell like a turtle, Buckums.
  • Honky-ass whiteboy hillbilly got weak-dick syndrome
    He wagged his dick in Mason’s direction. “Cain I do a complaint? Lem got a dirty dick.”
  • If it ain’t Christ, it ain’t right!
    They was something, and whatever they was, it wasn’t right.
  • Kareem
    Kareem blushed and tried to cover himself again with both hands, but he was shivering so bad it hurt, and his teeth chattered so hard he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t stand still. Lem batted his hands away. Buck burst into uproarious laughter when he saw.
  • Lem was a young cat then, built like a steel mill
    Buck best not say shit ’bout Lem looking like a tire that exploded on the highway.
  • Lots of things wrinkle Buck’s brain
    They learnt from a mandatory video that the most important part of drilling fer oil was respeck fer diversity.
  • Narsty old-feller dingdong feels like a sad baseball bat
    If’n you tells him, he gonna be comin’ he’uh all the time! All the time like weather!
  • On black cops
    Buck immediately took off his sandals and briefs, and he sat on the bench in the center of the locker area. Lem undressed more slowly, as he continued a long story that had begun before they entered the corridor.
  • Pull-ups
    “I know it ain’t nevuh been cool to got cornrows lookin’ like graverows. Ya scalp look like the cemetery you ’bout to move into, Lem.”
  • Shovelwork
    He opened his mouth to say more but caught eye of Buck’s club-like dick resting on the floor between Buck’s legs — Buck was sitting splay-legged to air out his balls, which was disgusting.
  • Some hillbilly sister-fucker…
    Lem done ate his fried chicken and sides. He don’t eat Muslim food, and the curries give his belly the bumptions. He do stick to American food.
  • Swordfighting
    Mason saw them standing there, dicks in hand, mid-thwack upon each other.
  • This old black feller Lem, he was like a hundred
    Well, more like fifty, but he seemed ancient to Buck, and he smelled like a soggy newspaper.
  • Who knows what frotting is?
    That’s called ‘frotting’. Kax don’t know it had a name, and he was surprised Buck knewed sump’in he don’t. Buck don’t got a reputation as a smarty-pants.
  • You don’t know nuttin’ ’bout whiteboy dick
    One day soon all the whiteboys gonna get replaced by a broken dildo plugged in to a bossy computer, and the world gonna rejoice.

Tits that sag

I said she got tits that sag like a hump on a dyin’ camel.

“Shit, Avery, you ‘member Wilma, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Avery wasn’t listening. He checked and counted the poinsettias.
“Well, she got real salty at me on account of my buddy Trapper told her I said she got tits that sag like a hump on a dyin’ camel,” Wilson said.

From Macho Alphas

Like cantaloupes, they was, big ripe juicy cantaloupes

The nurse got a sweet face and big bosoms stretching the fabric of her uniform top.

The nurse got a sweet face and big bosoms stretching the fabric of her uniform top. E’erybody stayed talking heavy with a hotness ’bout the sultry Nurse Hilary. Buck ain’t seed her till now. Now, Buck liketa burst outta the briefs she had him strip to. She smiled up at him.
Buck was feeling oafy and big, so’s his burnished cheeks turnt burgundy. She mighta said sump’in else, but all Buck could think ’bout was her bosoms.
Like cantaloupes, they was, big ripe juicy cantaloupes.

From Buck the Conservative

Jeb ain’t never seen a woman’s thighs go up that high

Pretty ladies with dark hair and flashing smiles, bare shoulders that left little to the imagination…

There was three right there near the port, pretty ladies with dark hair and flashing smiles, bare shoulders that left little to the imagination. Jeb’s eyes opened wide at the one of them, the short one, with a blouse that showed off her cleavage’s curves and a short skirt that revealed her creamy thighs.
Jeb ain’t never seen a woman’s thighs go up that high.

From Jeb the Farmboy

Like somebody microwaved a shark of pillows

She had that dumpy, put-upon look, haggard and stridently frazzled, with limp hair and a saggy body like an overflowing cauldron of tits.

Delores Ann McCafferty was a middle-aged woman who looked like a nurse — she had that dumpy, put-upon look, haggard and stridently frazzled, with limp hair and a saggy body like an overflowing cauldron of tits. She wore a Mickey Mouse tee shirt that was much too small for her expansive frame, so her flesh oozed out like excess cake batter, and she smelled. Avery could tell before he even got out of Steel’s jeep that she smelled.
She was in the same AA group as Avery and Steel, and, according to Steel, Delores was “hot to squat on a nigga cock” and was willing to “get dicked down by any man if it helps him quit the sauce, even a white man”.
Also, Steel said she “got pussy you could get swallowed up by, like somebody microwaved a shark of pillows”.

From Avery’s Adventures in Interracial Manhood

She be out flippin’ her pussy at any man with dollahs to spare!

This bitch would fall in love wit’ me if we met, and you know I would put it to her good. She look like she know things, you get me.

“This bitch would fall in love wit’ me if we met, and you know I would put it to her good. She look like she know things, you get me, you can feel it coming outta her,” Lem said vociferously. Despite that, he didn’t even show the magazine to them, he just kept talking about the woman in it. He seemed to have forgotten that he started talking about her to compare her to the prostitute at the brothel in town where the roughnecks got leave but now was talking about her in her own right. “I wouldn’t settle down wit’ her though. She don’t look like a one-man kinda woman, bet on it. She be out flippin’ her pussy at any man with dollahs to spare! Believe that!”

From Roughnecks Got Oral Needs!

The spot where her woman-parts turned into creamy thigh

Her skirt stopped a possum-tongue above the spot where her woman-parts turned into creamy thigh.

Her breasts was half-bared, her skirt stopping a possum-tongue above the spot where her woman-parts turned into creamy thigh. She totteringly balanced a tray of drinks in one hand.

From Zeke the Cowboy

Dripping, tripping and flipping

A woman oughta agree to a threesome if she’s the hot one in it.

His manhood firmed up quick cuzza all the girlies he saw at the party. Courtney was the prettiest, but there was dozens of ’em, and Thumper woulda dicked down each and every one. ‘Specially the fat lightskin one with a pimple on her neck. Thumper would get that bitch dripping, tripping and flipping. Maybe Courtney would have a threesome with her? A woman oughta agree to a threesome if she’s the hot one in it.

From Thumper on Parole