On gastronomy

Lentils was just flat beans, and Buck do spoon beans up.

Then Buck got up again to get some of the Porchagees soups and a fish thang that had rice, and being a good boy his grandmamas raised right, Buck got all the veg’ables too. There was eggplant in sauce and onions in a different sauce, plus these roasted like turnips or sump’in, Buck do eat them up fer sh’ore, and two veg’able curries. One was lentils, one was other. Buck liked the other. Lentils was good too though. Lentils was just flat beans, and Buck do spoon beans up.

Buck got a big bowl and wolfed ’em down, ‘long with a scoop of curry and a bowl of miscellaneous Muslim food — that’s how they do, Muslims put buncha diff’rent stuff in a bowl steada having diff’rent dishes, whereasever Indians put buncha diff’rent stuff together and make one dish, then put it in a bowl. Only Americans did it right, with a main dish and some sides, on a plate, not a bowl. But Buck do eat the Muslim food and the Indian food, he got no quarrels with they bowls.

From Buck on the Oil Rig

Buck Sampson do be sayin’

Content

  • On black fellers and persnickitiness
    Kax stood up on a look like he don’t think there’s diff’rent kinds of homeboys or like he don’t think Buck should notice ’em.
  • On gastronomy
    Lentils was just flat beans, and Buck do spoon beans up.
  • On the code of the good man
    A good man’s code was ’bout defending women ‘gainst the fellers who ain’t got the good man’s code. Sometimes even the men who talked like they respected women was the ones who least respect ’em.
  • On the downlow
    “I been to prison, I was the only white guy in my cell-block, Lem. Believe me, I know ’bout the downlow. I seen it, I heared it, I smelled it, I had a bunk nexta it, usedta get splashed by the downlow on the reg’lar.”
  • On units of measure
    He expected Buck to calculate how many quarters-of-a-half-gallon could be combined with some number of five-eighths-of-a-liter to result in a fourteen-liter total volume.

Mundanity über alles

He had seen everything the family business had to offer. It was a salad of humdrumity, plated on tedium and dressed in a viscous layer of ennui: databases and disputes about payroll software and paycheck garnishments, property tax abatements, negotiations over long-haul trucking and container ships at the filthy port of Houston. Mundanity über alles.

He had seen everything the family business had to offer. It was a salad of humdrumity, plated on tedium and dressed in a viscous layer of ennui: databases and disputes about payroll software and paycheck garnishments, property tax abatements, negotiations over long-haul trucking and container ships at the filthy port of Houston. Mundanity über alles.

From Sasha & the Filthy Alphas of Texas

Giving dap

“You gonna wreck him, white man?” Lamont asked. He held a fist out.
They call that “giving dap”, which Sasha took as a sign of respect. He too formed a fist and tapped it into Lamont’s fist. Lamont met his fist with more force than Sasha was expecting. It almost hurt.
Dap received, Sasha nodded as though unperturbed.

From Sasha & the Filthy Alphas of Texas

Sasha opines

Content

  • Drawn-out vowels and country-soft consonants
    Her lipstick was smudged onto the tips of her teeth, but Sasha was too much the gentleman to point it out.
  • Giving dap
    “You gonna wreck him, white man?” Lamont asked. He held a fist out.They call that “giving dap”, which Sasha took as a sign of respect. He too formed a fist and tapped it into Lamont’s fist. Lamont met his fist with more force than Sasha was expecting. It almost hurt.Dap received, Sasha nodded as though ...
  • Lace-fried fluff
    Must everything be castrated down to parasitic orchids, soft edges and understated wallpaper?
  • Mundanity über alles
    He had seen everything the family business had to offer. It was a salad of humdrumity, plated on tedium and dressed in a viscous layer of ennui: databases and disputes about payroll software and paycheck garnishments, property tax abatements, negotiations over long-haul trucking and container ships at the filthy port of Houston. Mundanity über alles.
  • One craves the vitality of man
    It is that fact that feels raw and acute in women of a certain age.
  • Only a barbarian would eat off a full plate
    Only a barbarian would eat off a full plate.
  • Trivia ante momentum
    Trivia ante momentum is the motto of womanhood, after all, and garden parties were the height of feminimity.
  • Youthful men froth forth
    Young ladies immanently shrink from the freedom of the future, while youthful men froth forth with the vigors of the eternal now, yet elder women tendrilously transcend their present and old men are bound by their pasts.

Academia

Content

  • A peremptory conception of so-called manhood
    T’was Buck’s turn to snort like a jaded pony and make a masturbatory hand gesture.
  • A plow
    It was a chaotic panoply of monochrome — all black — yet it seemed somehow more vibrant than it had any right to be. It was sturdy like a tool, solid like its sculptor, with a bewildering firmness like a mountain. But it had wiggled when Avery leaned on it, and now it gently swayed ...
  • He added a inscrutable hand gesture and sound effect
    Then he added a inscrutable hand gesture and sound effect that presumably signified the inevitableness of entropy, the creeping spread of chaos in a post-capitalist society and his stoic acceptance of dhukha, the imperfection and dissatisfaction inherent to existence in Buddhist theology.

A plow

It was a chaotic panoply of monochrome — all black — yet it seemed somehow more vibrant than it had any right to be. It was sturdy like a tool, solid like its sculptor, with a bewildering firmness like a mountain. But it had wiggled when Avery leaned on it, and now it gently swayed in the delicate breeze from the far-off industrial fan that kept this basement cool. It was a plow at heart — an old design, an ancient and functional workhorse that looked already as though it had been used in the fields — but it had the looping whorls, looming grandeur and shimmery sheen of modern space-age materials. Its curves echoed of timelessness, the past and the future leading together into a present that made this very moment feel like a lifetime.

Then he turned around and gripped the metal thing Thickman had been welding — was it a plow? It kind of looked like a plow, but Avery assumed that couldn’t be right. Why would any modern-day American human weld a plow? Weren’t they made in factories? In… presumably like Vietnam or something? Avery didn’t know. But he assumed they weren’t made by one middle-aged American with a welding torch in a college basement.
“What is this?” Avery finally asked as he jutted his ass back. It hit Thickman’s cock, and he rubbed it up and down — teasing him once more by making it difficult to aim for his hole.
“What is what? That’s my dick-“
“No, this… thing I’m leaning on,” Avery said. He rattled the plow-like collection of steel. “What is it?”
“Oh. It’s a sculpture,” he said. “It ain’t done.” He slipped the tip into Avery’s ass, then wrapped one arm around Avery’s neck to keep his head in position. His other hand brusquely spread Avery’s asscheeks.

Now that he wasn’t getting cornholed, Avery could take a closer look at the sculpture. It was intensely complex, with different kinds of welded joints combining each piece of steel. Some of the steel was more polished than other steel. There was a pattern to it, something consistent in the seemingly haphazard collection of steel beams and rods.
It was a chaotic panoply of monochrome — all black — yet it seemed somehow more vibrant than it had any right to be. It was sturdy like a tool, solid like its sculptor, with a bewildering firmness like a mountain. But it had wiggled when Avery leaned on it, and now it gently swayed in the delicate breeze from the far-off industrial fan that kept this basement cool. It was a plow at heart — an old design, an ancient and functional workhorse that looked already as though it had been used in the fields — but it had the looping whorls, looming grandeur and shimmery sheen of modern space-age materials. Its curves echoed of timelessness, the past and the future leading together into a present that made this very moment feel like a lifetime.

From The Basketball Coach

He added a inscrutable hand gesture and sound effect

Then he added a inscrutable hand gesture and sound effect that presumably signified the inevitableness of entropy, the creeping spread of chaos in a post-capitalist society and his stoic acceptance of dhukha, the imperfection and dissatisfaction inherent to existence in Buddhist theology.

Miguel shrugged. “Prison got rats, gringazo,” he said. Then he added a inscrutable hand gesture and sound effect that presumably signified the inevitableness of entropy, the creeping spread of chaos in a post-capitalist society and his stoic acceptance of dhukha, the imperfection and dissatisfaction inherent to existence in Buddhist theology. “Hszhurhppaa.”

From Buck the Dumbass

Goddamn modern music was awful

The limp-beat rap music from the party drowned out his voice and threatened to ruin Thumper’s erection — goddamn modern music was awful, no wonder every male under forty was impotent incompetents.

The limp-beat rap music from the party drowned out his voice and threatened to ruin Thumper’s erection — goddamn modern music was awful, no wonder every male under forty was impotent incompetents.

From Thumper on Parole