Category: Sandra Hofferlee

Like making out under an unfinished statue

Wojo don’t mind a gold-digger. So long as she loves him, she can spend all the money, he don’t care. Just give him an allowance to buy lunch every day at work. Couplea shirts at Christmas. That’s all he needs.

Sandra never knew he made good money. Wojo thought bragging was trashy. Bricklayers make good money, plus he got a Marine Corps pension. He needta spend more money to look like a good provider, he thought. That was ironic though, cuz if he spent money, he’d have less, and he wouldn’t be such a good provider anymore.
And he don’t know what else to spend money on. If he had a woman, he’d shower her with like jewels and stuff. Makeup. Those dumbass handbags that cost like ten grand. Mad expensive. Should he have just told Sandra he got a couple hundred grand saved up? Would that have changed anything? Would she have stayed with him for the money? Does that even matter? Wojo don’t mind a gold-digger. So long as she loves him, she can spend all the money, he don’t care. Just give him an allowance to buy lunch every day at work. Couplea shirts at Christmas. That’s all he needs.
That coffee commercial came on, the one with the husband drinking coffee with his wife who’s pretty in a nice way, like a new kindergarten teacher, got a cozy sweater on. Wojo want a wife he can treat right like that. Sandra never wore a sweater. Need a house with a fireplace.
In the commercial, they’s lounging around afrontuva fire in a fireplace, but in the outside shots, there isn’t no chimney on the house. Aside from that, it’s a perfect marriage, he thought. Bet!
So when she finished her coffee or possibly not-coffee drink, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, that was nice, she don’t hate him or nothing. She got a tenderness for him. Her lips was soft and electric and warm, and they proved that maybe nothing was wrong about Wojo. She wouldn’ta kissed him if he was a creep. Then Wojo trudge-booted home. Maybe that was the problem, he saw now, he shouldn’ta done wore boots. Girls don’t like workboots.
Or maybe girls just don’t like bricklayers. His old flame Mazie said it was like making out under an unfinished statue.

From Wojo the Bricklayer

I don’wanna say what it taste like, cuz you’re a girl.

He paused before blurting out, “They got flavored popcorn too. But don’t get the green… uh… matchoo. Gross. Tastes like… well, I don’wanna say what it taste like, cuz you’re a girl.” He blushed and looked down, then bit his lip and corrected himself. “Woman.”

“So’s I thought, uh, Sandra, I wuz thinkin’, you know, you know, I wuz — there’s a place, the Cinema, they is playin’ movies, you know, you know, I mean, like,” He grunted, he really wanna sniffle, his nose was stuffy, but he don’t think Sandra would approve. “I, uh… They got movies on, you know. It’s called the Cinema.”
“A movie theatre?”
“Yeah.” Wojo knew he sounded like an idiot, he don’t gotta explain a theater. He wasn’t sure he got the name right — it was actually the Broad Avenue Cinema, but Wojo knew it as “the Cinema” that was on Broad, and he didn’t know that cinema was a word, not a brand. “The Cinema. They put on classic movies sometimes. I thought, I was thinking, I thunk, I thought, I was — I thought, maybe, uh, maybe, you’d like to go see one sometime. A movie. A classic movie. Or a modern one, I don’t care. They do modern ones too.” He paused before blurting out, “They got flavored popcorn too. But don’t get the green… uh… matchoo. Gross. Tastes like… well, I don’wanna say what it taste like, cuz you’re a girl.” He blushed and looked down, then bit his lip and corrected himself. “Woman.”

From Wojo the Bricklayer