Thumper Meets the Ultimate Evil
Chapter One: Out of Touch
Chapter Two: The Fossil
Chapter Three: That Ain’t Gangsta
Chapter Four: Old Nigga
Chapter Five: Unfashioned
Chapter Six: A Corrective Statement
Chapter Seven: Cool at Last
Thumper awoke in the night needing to piss on the urgent. Felt like his lower half finna explode. He got that bladder neck serious! He lumbered outta bed like a sloppy sasquatch, and he sleepyfooted outta his apartment. The hallway was cold enough to alert him into wakefulness on the way to the bathroom on this floor.
A underhushing of voices could be heard. Someone was in Lipsweet on the first floor, he thunk, as he stumbled down the hall to the bathroom.
Carson wanted him to kill Rico, but Thumper done resist — when he cased out the Seventh Street Playas, he saw a unmarked cop car surveiling the jawn. It’d be no good to strike at ’em now. Carson said to hold off for the time being.
Thumper told Carson he got a plan — hide out and wait for Rico’s mama to report him missing, then have him show up. That way if Thumper killed him later, his mama won’t be believed at first.
Plus it let Thumper think. He spent a long time as the head nigga in charge in his cell, and now Carson — a young pup — kinda young anyway — was telling him what to do. Thumper wanna buck. Rico was a brat, but he was pretty and he was young, and Thumper ain’t wanna bring the prison along with hisself to the outside.

On the other hand, Rico disappointed Thumper this weekend. Thumper done told him — and Carson did too — that the apartment him and Thumper shared was a safehouse. Ain’t no place to bring a female. Carson and Mr. Gregarian declared the apartment unlivable some time ago, so the county got no record of it as a address.
And then Rico gone and got his bitch Cherry to come upstairs and see him! Damn fool-ass nigga hiding out in a safehouse, and he got a goddamn stripper to come suck his prettyboy pickle.
Young niggas is dumb!
Goddamn stripper brung her dog! A Saint Bernard! It’s like a bus that drools!
Doing foolish shit like that? It’s no wonder Carson wanted Rico outta the Bloods. A nigga that dumb is gonna get caught and let his knowledge slip sooner or later. Cherry got sexy lips and enough ass for a white girl, and her dog was great, and both she and the dog promised not to tell nobody about the safehouse. She don’t even know no Crips, supposably, and she don’t mess with cops. Still foolish to bring a female in on it. Females got loose lips, a nigga can’t trust even the best of ’em to keep they mouth shut.
That Cherry was who Rico was sposedta rape and kill. If Thumper done read his lines from that script, that’s what woulda happened. Thumper woulda got to go back thirty-four years ago and not join up with that underground boxing league — that was how he got arrested; the nigga he fought in a unlicensed bout died, and Thumper caught a murder charge for it. He ain’t roll over on the Bloods, who put on the fight.
He coulda not joined in. He was in a legal league then, he hadn’t gotta fight unlicensed. But he could convince hisself to say no back then. He could now. He could live his adulthood with all the wisdom of a old nigga.
Rico don’t deserve shit. Let’s face it, Rico gonna get his dumb ass killed sooner or later, prolly sooner. He either gonna get killed cuz handsome niggas don’t last long or he gonna live long enough to turn into a pointless bump on a rump like Davon. Thumper kinda hoped that, when they robbed the Seventh Street Playas, Rico got killed by some other nigga. That way Thumper ain’t gotta do it. But there was no telling when that was gonna happen, and Rico prolly wouldn’t get killed during it. Thumper planned on hitting ’em quick and by surprise, so they won’t have time to fight back.
Thumper could do so much if he was Rico’s age. Rico be wasting his youth.
Buncha people was waggling down in Lipsweet. The more Thumper awokened as he pissed, the more he heard it.
Who was there? Lipsweet was closed.
“-the rehearsal-“
That was all he made out. Nobody should be in Lipsweet right now. Five o’clock in the morning of the a.m on a Tuesday. It was closed as buttoned clothes. There ain’t nobody there, not that should be there.
With his python tucked away, Thumper went downstairs. His brown hazed, mind blazed, heart and soul re-fazed. Fuck off, stay down, go out and back up, nigga, mind yo’ own business. Not a note gets paid for a nigga to poke his nose in unholy demon nonsense. And yet Thumper stayed.
Chanting emanated like lemonade from Lipsweet, and that urge to fade and stay stuck its gavel in. As reality do unravel, he be staggering, his perceptions scattering, deepness battering on the universe like bifocals shattering. Through the backdoor, he be rambling, behind dabs of gabbing voices in the bar proper.
Popping in like a spying copper, Thumper eyed a flight of hooded men, not robbers. They aura got Thumper to pant and slobber.
From they bothersome stance, Thumper chanced upon none they unhandsome pants. Flat rants came through they chants and they slow-circling dance. Thumper’s tramp ears couldn’t say dear outta the dark splendor he heared — a weak speech that sounded, not like English, another speak, like the howls of the damned in heat.
He bin sensing Delsinerr’s rowling beats, though he ain’t yet see the rays of her pitiless gaze. His grays thickened like lazy days, his blood thinned like sad spays, and his hackles got mad raised.
There she was, gliding like madness in waves through those men of sinister ways. They splayed out as if to lay down and kiss her gown like good sisters. One the hooded misters recited excitement from the script of the day, and Thumper glimpsed his face — Mr. Chambreux, a vig-swigging bigwig in Bangor, known for capitalist vapor and catapulting our savior.
“Greetings, Mister White,” she said, unwavered.
“You…” Thumper savored the rousing flavors of her thousand unspeakable sayers. “I ain’t do it. I ain’t say my lines.”
She spoke without talking, clocking his might and making him piss the kittenest of frights. “This I know,” she said in speak of her fill. “You have yet the taboo of free will.”
“What is this?” Thumper tapped his till toward the chanting pipsqueaks in Lipsweet.
“A big-meat rehearsal of curses,” she said, with heat and a guttery scutter of the bug out from under. From Lipsweet, that chant leaked in asunder like a grim fleet of blunders and blow. “You know him, no? Mister Chambreux? His words never stammer, only flow, like his riches through stealth grow.”
“I, uh… I never met him.”
“His wealth did flow from this show like snitches snow outta sour bitches. His power comes ultimately from this hour of witches,” she said. “His role is that which I did pitch him. Through ethical flinches over the torture of bitches, he sped to yes like wrecks done bled red in ditches and fed hits into misses.”
“You still want me to get Rico to kill that girl?”
“Of course,” she said without remorse. “Him and you together like mates of a feather shoulda forced Heather to gape forever and cleverly bed her to shreds the color of grapes using tethers and girders and levers to rape and murder that redhead on tape, convert her to dead, in a shape unwed, by stabbing her nape and her blurter, never let go, grab her fate and do hurt her. I could forever heave-ho on the soul of Rico and his triflin’ sac, and yo’ dearest life would come crawling right back.”
“Heather?”
The quiet she stacked spurted fast like deathbed confessions from a hearse on a rack. For the first time in this rap, Thumper felt her in his verses — she inserted herself in his gaps, searching his bellweathers for what he used to mean ‘Heather’. Then she said to boot, “The one he brung over, who you call ‘small sweet red fruit’. Currant? Raspberry?”
“You mean Cherry?”
“Yes. Her.” Laughter tarried and burst in the vastness of that mask, blasting like a train into the blackness of the rasps on his brain. Her face bug flickered and flung verbal flame at his lame mug. “Or any snack-size lady to roll like a log, if you ain’t wanna orphan her dog, you sentimental beast of a hog.” She scoffed with a start. “I can de-fog that parta yo’ heart, you know.”
“I like that dog!” Foolish indeed to naysay cuzza the stray. Thumper’s face shamed, as his mind exploded with a salad of nos. Like a salsa sans pico, he refused to kill Rico, his refusal infused with rejections of evil and upheavals of importance.
But a tournament of fortune swirled within, and Thumper want a win. He could assuredly sin. Rico don’t deserve nothing. A man deserves only what he is strong enough to pin, and Rico wrestled as weak as tin.

“Think about it,” she said like a foe and clucked her tongue of woes. “Consider it well, my biggest of niggas.” Then she bid off past his vigor, doffed the door like a broken ticker and returned to the bar. Her confusion went across with her.
Thumper went upstairs. He ain’t like getting tremorous. He wasn’t that kinda nigga, but he couldn’t deny he was shook. He sat on his bed and tried to stop thinking about That Woman and her weird-ass words. He thought he’d be unable to sleep, but he drifted right off, drenched in moonlight and craving rain.
He dreamt of prison and the cozy confines of his niggas, a place where everything made sense and there weren’t no crazy ladies noodling around his brain. All he gotta do is fight from time to time, and that felt good as grandpa’s grip to Thumper.
He dreamed about limping, badly injured after a fight he remembered well cuz he got stabbed by some Aryan in the thigh. He arrived at his cell with blood streaming down his leg. The Bloods steady sent him out to fight — he was a enforcer, that was his job in the cell block. He ain’t never apply for it, he ain’t never say that’s the job he want. When you look like Thumper, with a face like a catcher’s mitt and hands like battering rams, you best believe every nigga gonna front like you is a enforcer, so you gonna hafta enforce something. Niggas do be stepping.
A lor nigga Zeke Lampman reenacted the fight, which he done watch from the sidelines — Zeke’s role was to be the lookie-lou, keeping an eye out for the screws. Zeke done told Thumper when the guards was coming, so Thumper could stop fighting back and look like the victim.
“Damn, nigga, you fucked that mothuh up!” Zeke said with a cackling laugh. Thumper smiled, but he was in too much pain to be entertained. It took all his concentration to shield the pain from all them cellbodies looking at him. He got a reputation that nothing shook him, and he gotta uphold it. Last time he fought, he got stabbed and had trouble walking back to the cell, they all said he be slipping and some nigga stepped to him. Thumper hadta regulate with eighty stitches on his side. So now he ain’t show that he even felt the little slit on his cheek.
“C’mon, nigga, lemme stitch you up,” said Bradley Smalls. He done start sterilizing a needle with a grill lighter soon as Thumper walked in. He got the job of stitching niggas up cuz his sister was a nurse.
Thumper gritted his teeth and sat down. Smalls wasted no time in getting the needle in. Some other nigga wiped the blood off Thumper’s face, cuz that was his role in the cell — blood wiper-offer — and he did it right. The blood wiper-offer was prolly lor and got no skills, that was why he got such a picayune role. Nothing wrong with that. A useless lor nigga who know he be useless and lor and who behave proper cuzza it is fine, Thumper got no problem with that nigga. Somebody gotta be the blood wiper-offer.
While Smalls did the stitching, Thumper cleared his mind. He thought about nothing but the needle going in and outta his skin, like his flesh was made of sweater getting knitted. He let hisself take in the cloying-nigga warmth of the overcrowded cell. His skin sheened with sweat. The pain of the needle might as well be happening to some other nigga.
That was when Zeke again caught his eye. He done took off his shirt and pants to play-act Thumper stabbing that Aryan — the Aryan was in his drawers, so Zeke stripped down to play the part of the Aryan getting stabbed.
“C’m’ere,” he said to Zeke, just as Smalls finished stitching him up. Zeke was daffy-laughing with couple niggas still, cuz he was lor and cellbodies assumed lor niggas gotta be funny. If Zeke wasn’t funny, maybe he’d be a blood wiper-offer or a warm body getting shanked in the meat of life. In prison, niggas got a way of rising to or falling down upon they correct level. Only tragic thing is when a outside nigga don’t know his level of competence. Sometimes niggas learn quick in prison. Sometimes they learn slow outsidea prison.
Anyway, the cell niggas all stopped laughing when Zeke came to Thumper, who got tunnel vision and ain’t none them other niggas exist in his notions. All that mattered was him being alive right now, heart thumping, meat bumping, flesh rubbing, mess spilling.
“Whatchoo want, Thump?” Zeke said. The hubbub over Thumper’s injuries be dwindling, so Zeke’s jump-and-jive act died down. Zeke ain’t funny without a audience.
Thumper gripped his shoulders firm, and Zeke quaked a little. All them niggas in the cell turned away with a quickness, and even Bradley Smalls fucked off to clean his needle. They all sensed where this was going. They knew how Thumper do, and they knew what was expected of ’em. When Thumper first got locked up, any nigga who never ramrodded got teased for it. A real man do need to blow a nut. Young niggas see that as unfashioned now.
Smears of blood still clung to Thumper, but that ain’t slow him down none. Tunnel vision, remember. Only this moment do matter.
He pulled down Zeke’s prison boxers, revealing a fine brown booty. Thumper whistled slightly. The other niggas in the cell was getting involved in a craps game, and they all stayed facing away like polished butlers. “Sssh, Zeke, you might wanna go grab the hog fat.”
“Aww, shit, Thump, c’mon, don’t be a ramrod, a nigga, that’s old-ass uncool shit… Be my nigga, nigga… Don’t stick it in me…” Zeke said. He got no compinktions about being loud, it seemed, cuz he ain’t lower his voice none. He slipped away from Thumper, who held onto his shoulders so he gotta squirm like a earthquake to get out from under. Then he scurried off to grab the tub of hog fat they kept in the cell.
“Shush. Pretend you like it,” Thumper said. As Zeke returned and smeared lard on his buttcrack, Thumper pulled him close and kissed him on the lips. “Make some girly sounds. Pretend like you a bitch wit’ a Baltimore accent, nigga.”
Zeke did play the part the best he could, quiet as possible. Thumper ain’t mind the quiet tone to his flirty moans, as that was a lot like a female. But he sounded reluctant moaning around Thumper’s tongue invading his mouth, and that made it harder for Thumper to pretend he was a girl. Thumper pulled off his gentle-nigga lips. “C’mon, sound into it, nigga. I’ll give you a reacharound.” Thumper stroked hisself into full erection, as Zeke’s whining turned feminine.
Then Thumper stuck his dick into Zeke’s asshole, just the tip at first, but that pushed some of the lard in too. It squeezed Thumper’s meat, while Zeke sucked in his breath. Thumper did too, cuz it felt good as candy, and he let out the moan shuddering up his chest and out his throat.
“Shit, nigga — gimme a sec, gimme a sec-” Zeke scrunched his eyes shut.
“Sssssh, don’t talk like that, nigga,” Thumper said. He ain’t hold on to Zeke no more. Thumper preferred to make a nigga choose to stay. Zeke hyperventilated like a woman in labor. Thumper clucked his tongue. “Make sounds like you like it,” Thumper said, as he reached around Zeke to grab his cock. “You makin’ sounds like a woman bein’ raped. I don’t like them sounds.”
“Man, nigga, Thump, c’mon…” Zeke said. He sucked in his breath and stood on his toes. His cock was going flop-a-flop in Thumper’s hand, but it felt good there — it felt like a moment, like this moment.
There was a time decades ago when a nigga could plow any nigga he want, and that other nigga ain’t allowed to fight back so long as the first nigga give him a reacharound. This one warden instituted that rule. Ain’t barely a single nigga who like it, and it was hard for the screws to enforce. Thumper did like it very much, and he did enforce it in his cell.
That was why Thumper kept on rubbing off Zeke, who ain’t get hard, while Thumper stabbed his dick in and outta his asshole. He don’t care about giving him a reacharound, it just felt good to feel Zeke’s manhood throbbing in Thumper’s grip. A young nigga’s dingdong feels good. Maybe it reminds a nigga of when his own dingdong felt like that. Anyway he played with Zeke’s limpness like clay, while Zeke’s tight ass squeezed and massaged a nut outta Thumper’s balls.
“Here I go, nigga, you good, you good, almost done…” Thumper moaned into Zeke’s ear, making him shudder. That caused a wave of tightness and pleasure to rocket through Thumper, bringing him over the edge. He shot his first cumwad into Zeke’s guts, then he backed up and humped his dick in and outta Zeke’s sensitive bootyhole as an orgasm wracked Thumper’s body.
A vast wave of cum filled Zeke up, making him grimace but also sigh, grateful that this was finally over. His whole body tensed up while Thumper’s relaxed, and the jism flowing into his butthole continued for what felt like forever.
Thumper lay back, satisfied, his pain having vanished. His cock plopped out amid his flow of jizz, and he smirked at the sight of cum pouring from Zeke’s ass. More and more kept spurting out, coating Thumper’s crotch and wettening his pubes. Thumper grinned at sight of Zeke’s twitch of pain, as he spread his buttcheeks apart and stood on his toes.
“Shit, nigga, that hurt!” Zeke said. He glared at Thumper like Thumper should be wiping Zeke’s ass clean. That was technically correct. Niggas was required to clean off a nigga’s butthole when he rammed him, but Thumper was a head nigga around here. He ain’t clean shit. So Zeke limped off to clean it his own damn self.
Thumper plopped down on his bed. Now that the adrenaline from the fight done wore off, he was sleepy as a sunset. The sound of the other cell somebodies roared back into his belltower. They was all doing they shit — lifting weights, conversating, pattycake, whatever, all that shit a nigga do, filling the air with behavior. It felt good to hear it. He lay there listening. Niggas wiggled on about the weather for tomorrow’s trash pick-up — it might rain, which meant the guards was gonna cancel it. Guards don’t wanna get wet. Niggas in prison do. Thumper don’t remember what the rain felt like, but he knew it was good.
Before he fell asleep, he eyed this muscley nigga named Ruck. “Hey, Ruck,” Thumper said from his bunk. He yawned as Ruck came to him. “When you go to bed tonight, come sleep wit’ me. We doublin’ up tonight.” Thumper ain’t wanna sleep beside Zeke cuz he was too bony, like cuddling with a coathanger, but Ruck got muscles and meat and plump bits to grab onto, and he used deodorant. That made him a grade-A nigga.
Ruck wrinkled his too-ugly-to-love nose. “Yes, Thump.” Once he got outta the light, it ain’t matter that Ruck looked like a portapotty exploded. He got a ugly face, but in the dark that don’t matter. Only the moment matters.
Thumper Meets the Ultimate Evil
Chapter One: Out of Touch
Chapter Two: The Fossil
Chapter Three: That Ain’t Gangsta
Chapter Four: Old Nigga
Chapter Five: Unfashioned
Chapter Six: A Corrective Statement
Chapter Seven: Cool at Last
















