MNManmacker – Page 5 – Mansploitation

Steel lost the thread of this metaphor.

The best way to fight addiction is to do it before it starts. Nibble it in the butt!

The at-risk programs was time-consuming for Steel and the others at Ebenezer Baptist. Steel enjoyed it though, spending time with the kiddies, shooting hoops and making music, that kinda thing, turn ’em off from gangsterism. Gotta set ’em on the right road, the road to Jesus, past the roadside attractions of virtue and honesty and forthrightery — no, not past them, they’s the destination — no, Jesus is the destination — or salvation! Jesus is the offramp that leads to the destination of salvation, and the signs pointing a nigga that way are the virtues, like virtue, or maybe… virtues is the offramp? Or the onramp? Steel lost the thread of this metaphor. How can virtue be a virtue? What does virtue even mean? It don’t make sense.
Anyway, he like to feel he’s making a difference, and this was a way to do it. The best way to fight addiction is to do it before it starts. Nibble it in the butt!

The young adults got a program that drew upon a federal grant for young men eighteen to twenty-four with adult criminal records but no violent convictions. That included Rico Salierez. He was a slim kitkat with dimples and all, he got a girlfriend who was pretty as a dumptruck, and he got her pregnant last year. Got an abortion. That was a whole thing Steel ain’t gonna get into right now, cuzza the shit, the Supreme Court, girlies got sensitivites, you seen that Ketanji lady? She fine for a old lawyer bitch, Steel would put it to her, he would, put it to her good. No abortion after neither. Maybe a little one. Steel got qualms about abortion.

Malcolm got rules about cussing during church functions, and bitch was a straight-up violation. Straight up like a gay cup! Nigga too! Nigga, please! Steel don’t keep his tongue that clean mosta the time, cuz the Bible don’t say nothing about cussing, but he don’t argue about it. Church rules is church rules. In prison, Steel said fuck and bitch and stab that fuckin’ bitch, and in church, he scrub his tongue-wungy like he just ate out a ugly female. Gotta apartmentalize ya dickskin, nigga! Anyway, Rico got to flapping about his hardon and about Steel being an old fuddy-duddy who prolly don’t got a puckymoo that even work no more, and Steel wanna prove to him the error of his ways.

Steel ain’t reminiscing about liquor, y’all. His lips stay dry. When Steel get tonguey, he be praying, and Jesus always comes around in the end. To have faith in strength is strength enough, nigga, cuz reality is always weaker. Steel heard that in a sermon or a theology lecture on youtube or something and don’t feel like googling, you google it. Doesn’t matter.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

The niggas ain’t do that when Steel was young. They just popped they collars and occasionally robbed a bodega.

But Rico and them, the kitkats, came to church cuz they committed aheada time and cuz Steel and Big John woulda tracked ’em down with fist-shape kisses if they ain’t show up or if they left partway through the night.

Rico and the other at-risk young adults came into Ebenezer Baptist one weekend for a lock-in. That’s where they hafta stay in the church all night, for sermons and shit. Reverend Cherrymore came by and preached a couple times. They did it tonight cuz there was rumors of a teen takeover — where they do burnouts and whatnot en masse in downtown Amarillo. Sure enough, the shit popped off around midnight, it popped off like popcorn, they ransacked a smoothie joint and crashed a Toyota into a Hyundai (which is exactly how the Kia was invented). Rico and them’all niggas woulda been there, most likely, skidding up sparks, broke some kid’s arm, got Mayor Transom fuming and booming, shit! But Rico and them, the kitkats, came to church cuz they committed aheada time and cuz Steel and Big John woulda tracked ’em down with fist-shape kisses if they ain’t show up or if they left partway through the night. Doors wasn’t actually locked, cuz that’d be illegal, fire code and such. It ain’t even possible to lock ’em from the outside.
But Steel’d beat the stuffing outta any nigga who try and join the street takeover. There’s a video on the internet where this whiteboy gets mowed down at one, shit’s crazy, Steel be bugging. The niggas ain’t do that when Steel was young. They just popped they collars and occasionally robbed a bodega.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Not that he subscribes to no brownism.

It was important for a darkskin nigga like Rico to learn how to get a nut off. Steel ain’t as darkskin as Rico, Steel’s a duckydoo, but lighter than that. Not that he subscribes to no brownism. From tarry doodoo to pale sand, nigga! U.N.I.T.Y.! Steel almost got a backstage pass to a Queen Latifah concert a long time ago, he was always like ninety percent sure if he got that, he’da ended up fucking her. Maybe they’da got married. Shit woulda turned out different for sure. For sure!

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Lem blamed the Haitians, cuz they was like that and cuz he was like that.

After that, the convo turned to who was suspected of being the rig thief, cuz that was the hot topic of the moment. Somebody was stealing shit outta personal effects, and it was causing ripples all over the rig. Lem blamed the Haitians, cuz they was like that and cuz he was like that. Steel got similar notions about this Argentinian girl-sniffer, and Petrov suggestified one of his own Russians might could be behind it. Only a Russian would blame one of they own.

After that, the convo turned to who was suspected of being the rig thief, cuz that was the hot topic of the moment. Somebody was stealing shit outta personal effects, and it was causing ripples all over the rig. Lem blamed the Haitians, cuz they was like that and cuz he was like that. Steel got similar notions about this Argentinian girl-sniffer, and Petrov suggestified one of his own Russians might could be behind it. Only a Russian would blame one of they own.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Chinese men shouldn’t have mustaches, but that’s another diversity, so Steel ain’t going there.

He ugly for a Chinaman, they usually pretty, but he ugly, and he got unfortunate but accurate views on bwack men. Chinese men shouldn’t have mustaches, but that’s another diversity, so Steel ain’t going there.

Anyway, Steel stay urging Lem not to fight Jean and the other Haitians, cuz Steel don’t want the rig boss Mister Chow to twist his wontons about it. Steel don’t care, leave the Haitians to they voodoo, no skin off Steel’s pecker if they go to Hell.

Mister Chow gonna frown like a spilled wok at a stabbing. Mister Chow was like that, he a strict string bean. Not skinny though, he plump, real fat for a Chinaman, but you know, he sorta shaped like a bokchoy. An upside-down bokchoy with a sad mustache. He ugly for a Chinaman, they usually pretty, but he ugly, and he got unfortunate but accurate views on bwack men. Chinese men shouldn’t have mustaches, but that’s another diversity, so Steel ain’t going there.

The fight ended only when Mister Chow barreled in like a shouty rickshaw, bellowing out slantways commands that ain’t nobody understand cuz he talked like an angry Chinaman. Anyway, the no-fighting parta his commands was cweah as gwass, and the Haitians dismounted from they brawl. They handled things among they own, and they prolly made up, or maybe not, Steel don’t know and don’t care. They left the story at this point anyway, and Mister Chow did likewise, on his cute little dumpling legs, still glaring or maybe just looking at the Haitians who marched out afronta him.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Mainly just the Arabs took the actual barracks, and Steel won’t comment on they body hair cuzza the diversity.

Mainly just the Arabs took the actual barracks, and Steel won’t comment on they body hair cuzza the diversity.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Blackbeard thought he was just importing rum and exporting dead sailors.

Him and Big John did watch a lacrosse game a couple weeks back, when they was bored. It was free on the internet, which goes to show you how much money the lacrosse niggas thought there was in it (none, or they’d charge for it).
Or possibly Steel pirated it. It was hard to tell sometimes. A nigga can be a pirate and not know it. Blackbeard thought he was just importing rum and exporting dead sailors.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Declan Solum

This honky-butt whiteboy Declan, got a handsome face with dimples and a big heada blond hair like a melted haystack. He only did a couple weeks in local jail on a DUI and groping-a-waitress beef, and now he was doing the last couple months of his sentence at the parole house. He was okay for a suburby whiteboy.

From Winston Steel & the White Man

Old niggas don’t get the boot!

The bus was full, filled to the brim. Filled fulla seniors! Seniors for Christ! Old ladies mostly, couple fellahs keeping it real, you know an old nigga get plenty of dusty snatch, cuz there ain’t many of ’em. Root-a-toot-hoot! Old niggas don’t get the boot!

The bus was full, filled to the brim. Filled fulla seniors! Seniors for Christ! Old ladies mostly, couple fellahs keeping it real, you know an old nigga get plenty of dusty snatch, cuz there ain’t many of ’em. Root-a-toot-hoot! Old niggas don’t get the boot!

From Winston Steel & the White Man

The world is like a cookie in that they both crumbles

The game was over, the niggas won, cuz of course they did, and, ‘cept for that white giant, both teams was niggas, cuz of course they was. That’s how the world crumbles or however that goes. The world is like a cookie in that they both crumbles, that’s a wisdom right there! Tony was rooting for the team with the white man on it. Steel rooted for the opposite team cuz otherwise him and Tony’d just be sitting there agreeing with each other.

They was watching a basketball game in the rec yard. He was impressed by this tall-ass white man whose name Steel don’t recollect right now, but he was like seven feet tall, and Tony was impressed by his skills. Steel was not. A tall man was automatically good at basketball. Takes more than that to impress Steel.
The tall one was like Serbian or some shit. Not a proper honky in Steel’s notions.

….

The game was over, the niggas won, cuz of course they did, and, ‘cept for that white giant, both teams was niggas, cuz of course they was. That’s how the world crumbles or however that goes. The world is like a cookie in that they both crumbles, that’s a wisdom right there! Tony was rooting for the team with the white man on it. Steel rooted for the opposite team cuz otherwise him and Tony’d just be sitting there agreeing with each other.

From Winston Steel & the White Man