The Circus Strongman

“You’s had bettuh take a nice tone wit’ me, Dandy Littlepants, I’m boutto give you’s a present you’ll enjoy.”

This is the entirety of “The Circus Strongman“. To download it as an ebook, see here.

Randy Hollingsworth was billed as “The Littlest Dandy” in the Warren Heights Traveling Carnival, so everyone there called him Dandy. He was just above two feet tall, making him — so some doctor said — the shortest man in the state (the state at that time being California, where Dandy grew up).
He was the barker for the carnival, gathering folks in with his loud mouth and smooth laugh, controlling crowds and lubricating the transitions between attractions. He long ago learned he had the outsized gift of attracting attention and making men laugh, and his flamboyant personality didn’t draw hostility because it came across as a harmless byproduct of his small size. He could lilt and prance like a showpony without threatening anyone’s sense of propriety.
It was approaching the end of the summer of 1928 when Dandy and the Warren Heights Traveling Carnival approached Chicago. Dandy spent the day passing out fliers and answering questions about the carnival and his height, and by the time he got back to his own tent, he was too tired to do anything more than sit back and rest. His little legs ached, his knees throbbing, his throat graveled like an untended road.
“Hey, Dandy!” boomed a bone-shakingly deep voice from outside the tent.
Dandy jumped to his feet, so startled he yelped. He had just been drifting off to sleep.

Grumbling his way to the tent flap, he rehearsed telling Pavel no if he was here to ask for another favor. There was no mistaking the voice, it was Pavel.
Pavel was a carnie like Dandy. He was the strongman, and he too was one of the most extreme men in the country — he was both tallest and biggest. Pavel was a Polish-American boy of nearly twenty years old, already seven feet tall and still growing. He had a farmwork-toned body that he kept building as they traveled, practicing athletics and lifting sacs of potatoes every time the carnival stopped moving for a few hours. He was a boisterous, adventurous man, domineering and brash, macho and more than a bit intimidating when he wanted to be. He was billed as The Powerfull Pollack of Pennsylvania.


At the flap to Dandy’s tent, Pavel’s thick mustache twitched as he made eye contact with Dandy. He smiled broadly. One of his hands nervously clutched his muscular chest, which he had shaved smooth for today’s show. It glistened white as marble.
“What do you want, Pavel?” Dandy asked. He stood in the entrance to his tent as though he might be able to exclude Pavel from entering. He had to look practically straight up in order to see Pavel, who towered above him. His chest muscles seemed impossibly thick from this angle.
“You’s had bettuh take a nice tone wit’ me, Dandy Littlepants, I’m boutto give you’s a present you’ll enjoy.” Pavel had a deep voice like a bronze bell. It was tinged with both the stawk and holler of his Pittsburgh home, as well as traces of the Polish-American accent of his family. “You’s gonna jump like a junebug, boy!”
“Oh, a present? What is it? Do I have to go somewhere?” Dandy asked. He was much too tired to walk even to the other side of the carnival’s encampment with Pavel, who had such long legs that Dandy had to sprint to keep up with him. To Pavel, that was hilarious. Dandy took a dim view of it.
“No, we’re doing it right here,” Pavel said. “I… I know you is not a believer in the Christian Lord our God. But-“
“I really don’t feel like having a theological discussion, Pavel,” he said, but Pavel wasn’t listening. Dandy had to talk very loud for Pavel to hear him. Most of the carnival was Christian like Pavel, and Dandy’s non-churchgoing attitude did not always sit pretty with the others.
Pavel pushed right in to the tent, oblivious to the fact that Dandy hadn’t invited him in. Dandy sighed. Large men tended to blunder past him like that. Pavel sat in the only chair in the tent, which was too small for him, so he had to wedge his ass into the seat. Dandy stood in front of him with a hand on his petite hips.
“I went to the church in town, yes I did. And I wents muhself to confession, Dandy. You know what that is?”
“Yes, Pavel, I know what confession is,” Dandy said with another sigh. As usual, Pavel was oblivious to his social cues. Dandy tried to sigh when he thought he had Pavel’s attention, but he was thundering right ahead with whatever this was.
“I… confessed some sins… sins of a sexu’l nature, Dandy. That woman back in Missurrah? Remembuh? Well… The priest said to say the hail mary nine times and, uh… the point is he told me to do a few things. One of them was to make a moral invent’ry of muh life, to see what muh sins is and how they have done affected the victims of muh deviance.”
“Deviance? Pavel… are you talking about the women? God’s not going to throw you in hell for-“
“You don’t even believe in God, little man,” he said with a wag of his fingers. “And I’s wearried about it. I needta make muhself feel what them wimmin feel when I plunders ’em. I know… that’s ya speciality. And you’s a li’l guy, it couldn’t hurt that bad wit’choo. I’m hoping I’ll learn-“
“What?! I… You want me to cornhole you?” Dandy opened his eyes wide. Dandy enjoyed touching and laying with men more than he enjoyed sleeping with women.
But he didn’t think Pavel was the same way.
Pavel paused and gulped, the sound of which was impossibly loud to Dandy, it sort of echoed and thrummed out through Pavel’s broad chest. Pavel nodded. His hand clutched his smooth white pectoral muscle, which twitched; its gigantic size attracted Dandy’s attention as it rippled. Pavel scratched at his bare chest, making all of his chest, stomach, side, shoulder and arm muscles tense and flex in turn.
“You make it sound stupid.”
“If that was a part of Catholicism, which it isn’t, it would be stupid. Your priest told you to do this? Are you sure he wasn’t trying to cornhole you? Cuz they do that. You can’t trust priests.”
“Not in so many words, he ain’t say that exactly. He said I needta confront what the victims of muh sin ‘xperienced. This is what I came up with,” he said. His squarish face aimed at the floor of Dandy’s tent.
“There’s a big difference between a woman-” Dandy stopped himself. “Why am I talking you outta this? It’s idiotic, but you’re an idiot, so that checks out.”
“Get bigger, shitwit,” he said with a shy grin.
“Bend over and grab ya ankles,” Dandy said with a laugh. He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. Pavel sighed as though a part of him had hoped Dandy would say no (but what kind of dandy would say no?).
Of course, Dandy realized as Pavel took off his pants that their size difference was going to make for some awkward positioning. Dandy couldn’t even reach Pavel’s ass without standing on a chest.
Pavel sighed, his chest rattling. It seemed that he was having second thoughts. He hesitated before removing the tan singlet he wore for performances.
“You really wanna do this? I won’t… tell God if you back out,” Dandy said. He couldn’t help but laugh. He had always thought religion was silly — would an omnipresent God make a midget like Dandy? Someone whose body was never meant to be this size? He could feel God’s nonexistence every day in his weak knees and his pained spine, in the doctors who stayed surprised that Dandy was still alive.
Pavel shot him a heated look. “You don’t gotta laugh at me. I believe in God-“
“I know, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Then quit laughing at me ’bout it,” he said. He flared his nostrils. He dropped his underwear, and his massive, uncut cock flopped out. That was why he needed forgiveness — his big dick and bulging muscles attracted women, many of whom were married. Some of them even paid him. That was a basketfull of sins. He rolled his eyes. “Okay… How do you do this?”
Dandy was still trying to figure out the mechanics of it himself. Instinct would take over, he thought. He motioned for Pavel to sit down on the ground, which he did. He plopped his heavy ass on the floor of Dandy’s tent.
But even sitting on his ass, Pavel towered over Dandy, who climbed up to stand on his thighs. That let Dandy grope Pavel’s chest and inhale of the masculine musk he exuded.
The thick muscle of his hairy legs was like a rock beneath his feet. His pecs and their hard nipples were right there in front of Dandy’s face. The left breast was tattooed with the red and white flag of Pavel’s native Poland. Dandy kissed each pec in turn, his petite fingers massaging the powerful muscles of Pavel’s chest and shoulders.
Pavel giggled like a schoolboy, his booming laughter audible through his chest. It rattled around in Dandy’s tiny skull. He felt awkward, but the more Dandy groped those gigantic slabs of Polish muscle, the more aroused he was. He dropped his own shorts and let his rapidly hardening dick swing free.
Then he jumped up to Pavel’s neck. Pavel oomphed as Dandy gripped his neck and lifted himself up. He didn’t mean to choke Pavel — he just wanted to kiss him on the lips — but that was exactly what happened.
Pavel sputtered and dropped Dandy onto the ground. He shook his head. “What the hell-?”
“Sorry, I was trying to kiss you! Come down here,” Dandy said.
Pavel shook his head but did so. He lowered his neck, then had to get down on his belly on the ground. Only then could he get his head low enough to easily kiss Dandy on the lips. He puckered like he was sucking on a lemon as he did.
After all the fuss, the kiss was crude and passionless, anticlimactic. Once again, however, what Dandy missed in enthusiasm was more than made up for by the thrill of touching the man’s huge muscles. Dandy stroked his broad shoulders, each blade of which was as big as Dandy’s entire chest. He plunged his tongue into Pavel’s mouth. Pavel was still, his tongue laying limp like a dead fish at first, but after a few moments, it moved around some. Their tongues interlocked as Pavel’s bristly mustache — which seemed impossibly huge, thicker than Dandy’s own forearm even though it never looked that big from a distance — scratched at Dandy’s face.
The muscular lines on Pavel’s back beckoned. Dandy had always loved staring at Pavel’s back muscles; he didn’t know why, but something was appealing about those perfectly smooth, looping curves. He kissed Pavel’s smooth chin, then around to the back of his neck. He lowered his head, kissing the dimpled skin atop his spine, as Dandy’s fingers gripped his flesh.
Pavel lowered himself until he lay flat on his belly on the ground of Dandy’s tent. Outside Mariella — the bearded lady — cleared her throat as she began warming up her voice. She practiced singing every night, still hoping a professional opera company would look past her beard and hire her. It made Dandy giggle, because her fancy opera was going to be a strange score for his and Pavel’s fumbling.
Dandy’s mouth reached the small of Pavel’s back. Dandy stopped there for a moment and kneaded the copious flesh of Pavel’s plump asscheeks. Then Dandy dived between them.
Pavel gasped — it sounded like he had no idea this was coming. He likely had never got or even asked a woman to lick his ass, so he might have been unaware it was possible.
Dandy’s head disappeared between those massive cheeks, hairy and musty and dripping with sweat from the day’s workout. Dandy licked up every drop as his tongue explored the nooks and crannies of Pavel’s ass. The taste was sour and sweet, with a flavor that Dandy could only describe as pure, unadulterated manhood.
Then his tongue entered the grimy rim, and an explosion of masculine flavor overwhelmed Dandy. He moaned with desire, which made Pavel laugh and arch his back. Pavel’s cheeks separated and his hole loosened to allow Dandy’s tongue better entrance.
This was one area where Dandy didn’t feel his size made a difference. Pavel’s asshole was as tight as a small man’s, and Dandy’s tongue struggled to push inside just the same as it did with any other person’s. For a moment, Dandy could nearly forget his stature.
It felt so intensely pleasurable to Pavel that he sucked in his breath and held it as he lifted his ass, making Dandy’s tiny body chase it. He groaned and grunted as he submitted to Dandy’s tongue-bath. He even bit his lip as intense sensations roiled his muscles. It wasn’t very long before his ass was too high for Dandy to lick it.
That was okay with him. He was ready to move on. As Pavel lifted his ass up, his heavy cock and balls dangled. Dandy scooted beneath him, his tongue tracing a trail from his ass to those hairy ballsacks.
He tried to get the entire hairy sac and both balls in his mouth, but Pavel was too big. One ball took up all of Dandy’s mouth, and the folds of hairy, sweat-dripping flesh enveloped Dandy’s face. He didn’t mind; it felt like Pavel’s body was all-encompassing, his heavy-hanging sac spreading to every aspect of Dandy’s perception. His little tongue snaked out and caressed the sensitive flesh of Pavel’s scrotum.
Pavel yelped and squirmed. “Oh God!” he cried out. His dick was rock-hard now, and Dandy wanted nothing more than to suck him dry. He could feel all the tasty cum brewing up in those balls, which pulsated in and on his mouth.
But Dandy knew he wouldn’t have many opportunities to do more than that. There were a lot of muscular guys who would let a dandy jerk them off. There weren’t many who would let Dandy be on top.
So Dandy just licked up the veiny shaft of Pavel’s dick, then continued licking the best he could up Pavel’s chest. Pavel was on all fours, with Dandy standing beneath his chest and the floor, as though Pavel’s body was Dandy’s new tent-within-a-tent.
He crawled up to the chair that Pavel had sat in. With Pavel on all fours, his head was right around the chair’s height. That meant he could swallow Dandy’s dick while Dandy sat on the edge of the seat.
People were often impressed by Dandy’s dick size, he showed it off to strangers sometimes who insinuated he couldn’t measure up to taller men’s manhood. It was big, at more than six inches, but Dandy knew that wasn’t really remarkably big — it seemed that way because Dandy was so short. His dick was nearly a quarter of his body’s height, and it stretched to his knees.
Pavel was clearly surprised by its heft now that it was in front of his face. He screwed up his eyes, looked away and opened his mouth. Dandy was already rock-hard when he pushed his dick down Pavel’s throat.
Dandy moaned. Most men had trouble deep-throating his dick, but Pavel was so big that his throat was vast. He swallowed the whole thing easily even as his body gagged and rejected it. It slid down his throat until his nose was buried in Dandy’s crotch hair. Pavel’s muscles all flexed at once, undulating with each sputtering choke.
The sensation for Dandy was incredible, like his dick was massaged by all of those strapping muscles, which writhed before his eyes. He gripped Pavel’s shoulders, then grabbed his thick mop of black hair. Using his tiny fingers and delicate hands, Dandy guided Pavel up and down on his dick.
The sound of Pavel’s moist sputtering filled the tent, and the smell of prejazz followed it. Dandy wondered if Mariella — whose clumsy Italian phrasing emanated from outside — could smell it. Probably not, he thought, as she bathed in perfume every day. Dandy leaned his head back and groaned as pleasure wrapped over his body.
His hands seemed impossibly tiny next to Pavel’s head, which he gripped and led up and down on his shaft. Spit dripped down to his root. Every few seconds, Pavel gagged when Dandy’s cock hit the back of his throat. His petite fingers gripped Pavel’s massive cheeks to hold him in place. Dandy was used to being short, so it wasn’t often that he was bothered by these disparities in size anymore, but Pavel was so massively huge that Dandy couldn’t help but feel conscious of it. He loved the feeling of power he got, however, from his weak little arms pushing Pavel’s massive Pollack head up and down.
Pavel licked Dandy’s cockshaft, his giant head moving along with his tongue up and down. Dandy’s dick jerked and spasmed, and Dandy yelped as arousal overcame him. He had to force himself to pull away to avoid shooting his load right then.
Wanting to move on before he blew his jazz early, Dandy pulled out. Pavel gasped and said something breathlessly in Polish — it sounded like he was expressing his dislike for the taste of Dandy’s cock, but Dandy didn’t bother asking him to say it in English.
“Turn around,” Dandy said. “Lemme at your ass.” He smiled as Pavel sighed, wincing and blanching. He turned around, remaining on all fours, backing his wide ass up to the chair where Dandy still sat.
His ass was right at chair-height, but Dandy couldn’t lean off the chair and support himself that way, he’d probably fall. He hesitated before simply jumping off the chair and landing right on Pavel’s bottom. He held on like a drowning man clinging to the liferaft of Pavel’s sweaty back muscles.
Pavel lowered his head, while Dandy lined his crotch up with Pavel’s ass. He didn’t have much leverage in this position, since he had to lean on Pavel’s heft as he pushed his dick between those perfectly juicy cheeks.
He shuddered as his dick slid inside. Pavel’s ass was loosened and moistened by Dandy’s spit earlier, so now Dandy could get the first few inches of his meat inside easily. A wave of pleasure suffused Dandy’s body. He couldn’t help but moan. It felt so good his knees went weak, and he would have fallen if he weren’t relying on Pavel’s body for support.
Then Pavel’s muscles all tensed at once and stayed that way; his asshole clenched and he bit down hard on his upper lip. He growled and muttered something Dandy couldn’t hear because of Mariella’s blasted opera singing from the tent next door.
“Relax, Pavel, relax your ass. You’re doing fine,” Dandy said. He lightly stroked Pavel’s back.
Pavel breathed heavily through gritted teeth. He snorted and shook his head, and his ass bloomed into laxity again, just long enough for Dandy to ram another few inches in.
“Damn, Dandy… I thought you’d have a small dick,” he said. He chuckled as his face turned red. “Did you kill a big man and take his dick?”
“Yes,” Dandy said. He laughed at Pavel’s pained reaction. “You still don’t have to do this, you know. The whole idea is idiotic. God won’t love you more because of this-“
“Just finish up, little man. God supports a sacrifice,” he said. His voice was weak and pinched by pain.
Dandy grunted as he nodded and pumped his hips. He forced the last few inches of his dick inside, sighing when he actually felt his dick disappear into Pavel. Pavel had such a thick ass that a substantial part of Dandy’s dick didn’t actually enter the hole — Dandy simply couldn’t separate those asscheeks enough for his little body to get in there, especially with his feet not even being on the floor, as he still had no leverage.
It was all he could do to hump like a dog. He flexed his hips, slamming his entire little body down with every thrust on Pavel’s ass, the cheeks of which flapped and jiggled each time he descended. His fingers formed tight little balls, and his nails dug into the flesh of Pavel’s back.
“Normally,” Dandy said, panting and breathless. “I’d give you a reacharound. You can probably guess what that means. But my arms are way too short.” To demonstrate that, Dandy reached around Pavel, but his hands barely made it past his hips. He couldn’t even get to Pavel’s thick pubic hair much less touch his dick.
“You’re short? I never noticed,” Pavel said, his laughter hidden by the agony evident in his voice. “I just always figured there was more of you that you kept locked safely away.”
“Why don’t you jack yourself off?”
Pavel laughed, then cut off his own laughter. He made a strained and pained sound. “I can’t, little man. It hurts. I couldn’t get hard right now if I wanted to.”
“You sure about that?” From his vantage point, Dandy couldn’t see Pavel’s dick, but he had a strong suspicion about it. He knew there was a spot in every man’s ass that, when touched, triggered intense physical arousal. He was certain he had been hitting that spot. Due to the pain, Pavel hadn’t noticed. But when Pavel shifted from all-fours to just-threes, leaning to the side so one of his hands could grab his dick, he yelped in surprise to find it was hard and throbbing.
“Well… I ain’t see that comin’.”
“Big men never do,” Dandy said. He spoke through gritted teeth now too because Pavel had shifted to using just three limbs to support himself and in turn to support Dandy. That meant his body was not flat anymore, and Dandy had to clutch desperately at his flesh to avoid falling to the floor.
Somehow, despite the awkwardness of the positioning — or maybe because of it — Dandy felt his orgasm coming on. He humped wildly at Pavel’s ass, which was now loose enough that he could go for it with abandon. His balls slapped against the man’s flesh, the sound becoming impossibly loud.
As his climax erupted, Dandy could feel Pavel shooting his own load at the same time. The most intense orgasm of his life overwhelmed Dandy. He moaned, making a sound that was, to him, a loud shout. It was buried in the meat of Pavel’s lower back, however, as a minimal grunt from Pavel exploded and reverberated in the tiny tent.
Cum flowed into Pavel like water from a hose. Dandy shot more cum than he ever had before, and he could tell that Pavel’s load was similarly impressive, even if he couldn’t see it. Dandy shuddered, and every motion he made caused a wave of sensitive pleasure and exquisite bliss to flow up Pavel’s spine.
Dandy didn’t know how long he lay there, clutching Pavel’s flesh for support as he clung on like a puppy holding onto its mother’s scruff. His post-orgasmic daze only ended when Mariella finished her song, and the sound was replaced by Sandell, the head clown, barking orders at the other clowns — they were practicing their new act.
Letting out a sigh of relief as he slid down, Dandy’s cock left a trail of assjuice and cum clinging to Pavel’s thick thighs. Dandy’s knees were weak with the power of his orgasm. As soon as his ass was empty, Pavel collapsed to the ground in an exhausted heap of sweaty flesh.
Dandy sat next to him, using his back for support. He lay across Pavel’s shoulder and kissed his muscles there. “Do you feel forgiveness, Pavel?”
“I ain’t sure. I… I thought it might weaken muh desires for female flesh,” he said softly, or as softly as he could manage with that booming bass voice. “But I fear it has only done add to muh desire.” He chuckled.
“We’ll have to try again to find out,” Dandy said.

The Scarred Bouncer: Chapter 2

The Scarred Bouncer

Chapter One: An Affectionate Touch

Chapter Two: The Liminal Space

Chapter Three: A Glorious Face

Chapter Four: An Unexpected Connection

Chapter Five: A Deserved Choke

Chapter Six: A Good Friend

Chapter Seven: A Present of Sorts

Chapter Eight: That Sweet Release

Chapter Nine: A Plan for Repayment

Chapter Ten: An Unpleasant Chore

Chapter Eleven: A Sweet Release

Knuckle fat-lipped in the doorway, speaking only when he gotta. Knuckle liked working the door. It was liminal, and he hovered neither inside nor out but in the middle like a child hiding in scattered shadows. The sky drizzled lightly tonight, and his right shoulder got wet, but his left shoulder remained dry. He done confiscated a greaser’s switchblade. But the crowd lusted quietly tonight. He knew his scarred face scared men into submission and prevented brouhahas. As far as he was concerned, that was a good thing. Mr. Gregarian said it was a double-edged sword — no rowdiness, so no fighting, but no rowdiness, so no overdoing it on overpriced drinks either. Knuckle ain’t know if Mr. Gregarian told him that because he expected him to fix it or not, but Knuckle ain’t savvy changing how he got perceived, so he never did nothing about it. The switchblade still sat hotly in Knuckle’s pocket.
“Hey, scarface, is Caitlyn Smiles working tonight?”
“-got a pussy on his neck.”
“Sssssh, ssh, ssh, he’ll hear.”
The men all fell silent as sand before they shuffled up to the doorway where Knuckle stood, basking in the luscious leather napkin of the West Virginia night while being buffeted by the overwhelming warmth and wafts of cigarette smoke pluming out from the club’s insides. He checked IDs and sent them in. No cover charges on Sunday, only Friday and Saturday nights and some holidays, Mr. Gregarian said, because otherwise the place got too crowded and the men focused on tipping dancers instead of ordering drinks from Teddy.
Teddy has very soft fingers.
Ever since that night when Teddy jacked him off in the weight room, Knuckle thought about those fingers and returned to the weight room to see if Teddy might meet him there again and touch him with those fingers that were soft like a kitten’s tail. Those fingers had danced and teased his skin, caressing, affectionate, warm, inviting like a hot stove heaping out heat.
And that mouth was soft and warm too, and Knuckle craved it. Lips. Tongue.
Teddy said nice words. Knuckle ain’t recall them, but he remembered the tone and timbre, which resonated in his ears and remained there like resounding church bells and made his toes tingle every time he thought about them. He snuck drinks from his flask as he worked tonight. The vodka in the flask was thinly redolent of sun-baked plastic. It probably came in a plastic bottle, but he ain’t remember the bottle.
Just before midnight, Knuckle had to go in and lay hands on a black fellah who was getting garish and jagged in the mouth, cuz he done grabbed Caitlyn Smiles’s tits, and she looked at Knuckle with a ruddy face and a puckering pair of eyes and a torn bra, and she said, “You better wreck that bastard, Knuckle!”, and so Knuckle grabbed the man by the neck and dragged him into the back alley like a outside dog, and he punched him and kicked him behind the dumpster and left him there sputtering and bathing bloodwise in moonlight because tonight a full moon splashed effulgence through the clouds, and Knuckle liked that he could see so clearly, even in the alley where there ain’t no streetlight.
The black man had a gold crucifix with a ruby at the base. Knuckle took it. He gave it to Caitlyn Smiles later, and he wanted to tell her so many things that were true both inside the club and out, that the necklace was pretty like her, that Jesus would protect her, that Knuckle would protect her, that no man had the right to treat her like that or to paw her like a possessive puppy. In his mind, Knuckle thought all those things, but out loud, he croaked in a bumpy baritone, “Here. I’s givin’ this to you.” She took it and popped a tit out of her dress as though the necklace was a tip and she needed to earn it, but Knuckle ain’t even look at the naked breast. She stood there for a second with her tit out, realized Knuckle had no intention of groping it, then she screwed up her pretty face and scuttered away like she done see a ghost. She blushed. Caitlin Smiles never blushed except deliberately to seduce a man, but Knuckle made her blush by not looking at her bare tit.
Later, Knuckle saw her whispering about it to Teddy with the soft fingers and the lime-slicing knife in one hand. She said “he’s such a freak!” with a giggled-up laugh, and Teddy nodded grimly. They both took a shot of cinammon liqueur and scrupulously avoided looking in Knuckle’s direction.
But Knuckle ain’t let on that he heard. He stood in the doorway. Nobody thought he was where they were when he was in the doorway — Teddy was inside and treated Knuckle like he was outside, so Teddy and Caitlyn could share snickers about him in private, while the men approaching the door outside nervously talked about how to get past the scary-looking bouncer as though he was a statue who couldn’t hear what they said from a few feet away.
That was why Knuckle liked liminal spaces.
“Hey, Knuckle, is the shower in the back nice? Plenty of hot water?” Teddy asked a few minutes after close that night. The last of the men done skedaddle before Knuckle could tell them to leave. The dancers left in a big group because nobody wanted Knuckle to escort them one-on-one through the parking lot.
Knuckle plopped down at the bar. Teddy slid him a cheap drink, while he finished closing down and locking up the bar. Knuckle downed it in one gulp. “No,” he said.
Teddy looked at him like that hadn’t answered his question. He shrugged. “Oh. Okay. Well, I don’t wanna use all your hot water.”
“I do not shower a lot,” Knuckle said.
“Uhhhh…” Teddy stammered and blushed. “Yeah, the dancers complain about that, and… Nevermind. Knuckle, I, uh…” He thought for a long time, then broke eye contact with Knuckle. “Nevermind,” he said again. “I’m having trouble with the shower at my place. There’s this bum who keeps squatting there.” Teddy lived in a ratty old apartment building down the street, and it came with a group shower. Teddy said, “It’s fine. He’s usually passed out cold this late. It just makes the shower seem dirty, and I thought I could shower here before I leave for the night. But I know you’ve been staying here, so-“
“Let’s go,” Knuckle said. He stood up as though to leave, while Teddy was still closing down the bar.
Teddy paused. “What?”
“I will slit his throat if he does not leave,” Knuckle said. He walked to the door.
Teddy had to race after him. “Who? The hobo! Wait, Knuckle! That’s… a little extreme. Wait!” Knuckle stopped by the door and stood motionless. It took Teddy a few seconds to realize that was Knuckle waiting — he just stopped in the middle of Lipsweet like a robot whose off-switch had gotten flicked. “Wait, uh… don’t kill him. You don’t gotta kill him.”
After a pause, Knuckle said, “yes.”
“Okay, just… Talk to him sternly, maybe. Thanks for helping. Don’t kill anybody,” Teddy said. “Lemme just get the bar shut down.” He paused and said again, “Don’t kill anyone.” He raced to finish closing Lipsweet, then he and Knuckle piled into Teddy’s four-door to head to his building.
It was a square building with cardboard replacing most of the windows on the first floor. Teddy lived on the third floor though, which was the top floor. Knuckle saw a row of windows with blinds and curtains and flickering TV screens visible through them. One of those windows was Teddy’s place, the thought of which made Knuckle’s heart tumble over its beat.
Teddy followed Knuckle up the stairs to the third floor. The stairwell was a cold concrete column with spraypainted graffiti scrawled on every surface. The dancers would be shocked and exhilarated to learn Teddy had invited Knuckle to his home — it was an accident, but still, Teddy was going with Knuckle to a second location. The dancers wouldn’t even go with Knuckle into the next room.
Knuckle done took off his shirt and his wifebeater because it was a warm and humid night. His chest cooled, and the nasty burn scar on his shoulder heaved up and down with every breath. Teddy kept sneaking glances at his broad, powerful muscles. Those scars were stark in the dimly lit arteries of Teddy’s building.
Twenty apartments lined the central corridor of the third floor, and they all shared one group shower with just two showerheads. Teddy showed Knuckle to his apartment and pointed out the shower, but Knuckle went straight there, not into Teddy’s place. Teddy followed him, key in hand, into the shower.
The hobo, Bax, sprawled on his back, bugging out in a nest of rotting old clothes and scraps of cardboard. He lay in the middle of the shower area, so he ain’t gonna get wet even if both showerheads was running. That was rare though, as usually men showered alone here.
He ain’t move until Knuckle picked him up by the throat, smacked him in the face and growled. “You don’t live here! You-“
“Aaaagchk!” Bax’s eyes opened wide — he had been awake for days, on a meth binge, but he was unaware of Knuckle until he started hitting him. Knuckle slapped him again. Bax barked, “Git off me!”

When Bax peeped Knuckle’s scarred face and murderous mein, he squealed and squirmed. He clawed at Knuckle’s chest. His feet kicked the cold floor, but Knuckle brought him outta the showers and ignored his blows and cries.
Knuckle dragged him down the stairs and out into the West Virginia night. “If you come back, I will slit your throat,” Knuckle said. He tossed Bax like a sac of seed towards the road.


Then he turned around and came back inside with Teddy, who crouched by the door with wide eyes. Knuckle stood there as though waiting for another assignment.
“Thanks,” Teddy said, blushing. Bax stumbled off into the night, blood trickling from his nose. “You wanna come into my apartment? We could have a drink.”
Knuckle nodded.
They went into Teddy’s apartment. Knuckle stood there like a gravestone, while Teddy fixed them both a quick drink. Then Teddy saw him standing blankly and motioned to the couch. Knuckle sat down. He gulped his drink down in one motion. Teddy sat on the back of the couch, spreading his legs so he could rub Knuckle’s shoulders.
“Tell me about Emma,” Teddy said when he saw that tattoo again on the nape of Knuckle’s neck. His fingers hesitated before touching the burn scar on Knuckle’s neck, but Knuckle’s whole body relaxed at his touch, so he gathered Knuckle liked it or at least tolerated it. He wondered what kind of a woman would love Knuckle. Had Knuckle said she loved him? He definitely said he loved her, but had it gone the other direction? Teddy couldn’t remember.
Knuckle nodded. He waited for Teddy to pour him another drink, then he described the traveling carnival he had joined when he was a mere teenage runaway. He traveled all over the country with that carnival.
She was a glittering blonde beauty when Knuckle first saw her, swathed in bulb light from the carnival. She glid like a galleon through the crowd. She was accompanied by a boyfriend, Tom, but Knuckle ain’t clock him. The world parted like clouds around the sun, so nobody else existed, just her, serene and curving to forever, making Knuckle’s knees go weak.
The Sammy Smack-It Strength Meter dinged and belled behind him, but Knuckle couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.
“Mister! Mister! You s’posed to gimme them tickets!” said the old man who had just scored nearly top marks on the Strength Meter. Thirty tickets had been dispensed from the machine behind Knuckle, so he tore them off the roll and gave them to the wiry old man.
When Knuckle looked again for her, she was gone, lost in the crowd of Indiana appleseeds.
They were in Peoria. It took Knuckle a few minutes to remember that — all these towns looked the same to him, the same people in the same clothes, speaking the same words as they lifted the same hammer and brought it down on the same strength machine.
The one thing different here was her.
Knuckle’s eyes opened wide when he caught a glimpse of her again later. This time she was swathed in swimming darkness, just outside the well-lit carnival grounds. Children streamed past in front of Knuckle, running outta the carnival with caramel apples and sacs of Candy Annie’s home-made sweets. Knuckle pushed past them to get close enough to hear the pretty blonde lady, whose face was pursed tight, her lips bloodless, glowing when she passed under a streetlight, where she stopped to snap something harsh to that man she was with.
“You are such a asshole!” she said to him.
It was only when she said that that Knuckle finally saw she was with a man. A boyfriend. Of course a woman like her wouldn’t be single. She probably had a line of suitors trying to meet her, Knuckle thought.
He went back to the strength meter. That was it. She was gone. He might see her again before the carnival left whatever dipshit town this was, but probably not. He could have talked to her.
But he didn’t, and that was that.
The carnival shut down at ten-thirty, but Knuckle was already done by then. Nobody came by the strength meter that late. He went to the tent he lived in and sat in the lawnchair he done place out front. The sky was dappled with stars overhead, and the night was cool and calm like that woman’s eyes. But inside, Knuckle was afrenzied, with desire and with rage, and he soon got overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through him.
He stood, as the other carnies came in for the night, and he spat curse words. He formed a fist with one hand and punched his other hand in palm hard enough to hurt. He kept doing it, stalking and pacing afront his trailer.
“What’s wrong with you?” asked Pavel when he walked past. He was the horse-tamer and expert for the carnival, and he set up people — mainly little girls — with horseback rides. He always smelled like a barnyard. “There’s women here, Knuckle, don’t make ’em uncomfortable.”
Knuckle nodded. His face was grim and ruddy. He stood motionless, unsure what he could say or do that Pavel wouldn’t think made the lady carnies uncomfortable. There weren’t even any women around, most likely. The handful of female carnies were probably in their own tent by now.
“Let’s go for a bath,” Pavel said. That was where he was headed when he saw Knuckle. He always bathed first because he smelled so much like a horse. He ain’t like laying in bed in a cloud of horsehair and straw.
As he led Knuckle into the bath tent, Pavel listened to him talk about the girl he done saw. Pavel was older than Knuckle, and wiser, so he just smiled and patted Knuckle on the back.
“You’re getting this worked up over a girl you ain’t even talk to yet?” Pavel asked.
Knuckle nodded. “I guess it is kinda silly.” He blushed. His face ain’t riddled with scars then. He had a strong, straight jaw with a masculine jawline and a shaggy mane of jet hair.
Pavel filled up two wooden tubs with hot water, then he hurried to rip off his stableboy clothes. He was lean and ripped, powerfully built on his own merits, though he looked skinny next to Knuckle’s barrel-shaped body. Knuckle was slow, his eyes still dreamy and far away. By the time Knuckle was done, Pavel was already sighing and sinking into the warm water.
He leaned back in the tub and sighed. “C’mon into the water, Knuckle. Don’t get’cha hopes up about pretty nice girls. Set your sights on a carnie, most likely. Caroline Nazzir likes you.” She was a carnie, a mermaid in the Hall of Wonders, as well as a pickpocket. She done made it very clear she would sleep with any man, more or less.
But Knuckle never liked her.
His hardon jutted against his briefs when Knuckle dropped his pants. He ain’t even realize that until he took his underwear off and saw it. He covered it up with both hands, not because it would be scandalous for Pavel to see him sporting a stiffy but simply because Pavel would make of him being smitten when he did see it.
And Knuckle had to admit, he was smitten. He couldn’t stop thinking about that girl, Emma, as he climbed into the tub and sat across from Pavel. Their legs were intertwined. Since Knuckle was bigger, his legs were on the outside, pressed against the sides of the wooden tub.
“I see that, you horny dog, you sportin’ wood,” Pavel said with a baritone laugh. “You still thinkin’ about her, ain’cha?”
Knuckle nodded. He got an awkward grin on his face. “She was so pretty, Pavel…”
One of Pavel’s big knobbly feet gripped Knuckle’s dick under the water. He rubbed it up and down and laughed at the look on Knuckle’s face — Knuckle’s eyes lit up with surprise, then disgust, then a long slow melting bliss as his half-hardon turned into a full-on.
Pavel grimaced and laughed at the same time, and he put his other foot on it too. Knuckle’s dick throbbed under Pavel’s callused feet, softened by the water. Knuckle twitched.
Pavel was jacking Knuckle off with his feet for two reasons. The first was that it was funny. The second was that it would mean Knuckle ain’t gonna make Pavel use his mouth or even butt later. That was an option because Pavel owed a lot of money to this carnival, and he had to pay it by giving up the butt to any carnie who needed it. That mattered because a horny carnie was liable to start trouble in the small towns they visited.
But his plan backfired — Knuckle stood up, and, in one smooth motion, bathwater still dripping from his cock, Knuckle slipped his dick into Pavel’s mouth. Knuckle bent his knees, his eyes still upcast and dreamy, like he was moving on autopilot.
Pavel made a sourpuss puckering face, but he ain’t refuse. He been taking dick for years in this carnival, and it was better than starving to death in Poland. At least here, the food was plentiful. He slurped spit up and down Knuckle’s shaft.
A baritone grunt came from Knuckle’s mouth, and he pistoned his hips. His dick rammed into Pavel’s throat. Pavel was a tall man, so he managed to swallow almost the whole thing, until his nose was nestled in Knuckle’s pubic bush.
“Ooooohhhhmmmmm…” Knuckle moaned. He thought getting hard and blowing a nut would make him forget about that blonde woman, but it didn’t. He kept thinking about her anyway. She was too pretty to imagine himself fucking her, so he pictured her talking to him and touching his arm and giggling when he spoke — giggling with her eyes too, not just her mouth.
Sour, salty precum coated Pavel’s tongue. A moist gurgling sound came from Pavel, who patted Knuckle’s big asscheeks to signal he needed a break. Pavel spat a mouthful of prenut and wiped pubic hair off his lips.
“Gimme a sec,” Pavel said. He clutched his belly with one hand, his face tense and queasy. He held back a gag and pursed his lips shut tightly.
But Knuckle kept humping, his hips gyrating, his cock jabbing back and forth, without Knuckle paying any attention. Knuckle’s mind was fixated on her. He ain’t even notice at first that his dick moved through the air, not Pavel’s mouth. It poked Pavel in the nose when he was trying not to gag, and that caused him to retch violently.
“Uaaaaggghhhhk…!” Pavel held his stomach again and spat outta the bathtub. He intended to keep spitting until the eye-wateringly salty taste of precum vanished, but Knuckle’s dick kept poking him in the face like it was trying to find his mouth. “Gimme a sec, Knuckle-“
But his mouth opened to speak, and Knuckle — his eyes still closed — aimed his rod right for it. Pavel’s whole body buckled as Knuckle’s knob invaded his mouth, instantly filling it again with precum.
Pavel ain’t try to spit it out, though his wiry chest muscles all flexed as he held back a gag. Knuckle’s pecker pulsated like an alien beast in his mouth, and Pavel’s tongue slathered spit up and down the shaft.
Cum flowed into Pavel’s throat. Knuckle grunted again, and he pounded on his chest. Pavel winced, scrunching his eyes shut. The taste was intensely salty and powerful. He held back a gag.
Finally, Knuckle let go, and Pavel pulled off. He simultaneously gasped for air and spat jizz onto the ground outside the wooden tub. He paused for a moment. “Ecchk, your jizz tastes awful, Knuckle.” He spat again, as Knuckle sighed and wiped his dicktip off on Pavel’s cheek.
“Thanks, Pavel,” Knuckle said. His nostrils flared, and he sat back down in the spermy water of the wooden bathtub. “But I still can’t stop thinking about her.”

The Scarred Bouncer

Chapter One: An Affectionate Touch

Chapter Two: The Liminal Space

Chapter Three: A Glorious Face

Chapter Four: An Unexpected Connection

Chapter Five: A Deserved Choke

Chapter Six: A Good Friend

Chapter Seven: A Present of Sorts

Chapter Eight: That Sweet Release

Chapter Nine: A Plan for Repayment

Chapter Ten: An Unpleasant Chore