Adrian’s a damn prettyboy. I bet he comes to the fundraiser tonight with gauze around his forehead, which he totally doesn’t need, he just wants to look like an injured-fucking-warrior, and he wants to get all the fat chicks to come hug him, he is so like that — you know he had a fake sling on once at a party — well, it was a real sling, but he didn’t need it. Like if one of the Hardy Boys became a lifeguard and got injected with self-righteousness. I hate that dickhead,” Josh said. “I could have a six-pack too if I spent all my time doing sit-ups and shit. Like an asshole. nd those abs! He lifts his shirt so often, it’s crazy. Like in the 7-11 when we’re just getting hot dogs or something, and he’s like ‘I don’t put processed chemicals in my body’s so he just gets a salad with a dressing that’s like all processed chemicals, and he shows his six-pack to the Pakistani lady who’s like seventy and obviously doesn’t give a shit, just wants to know why some goddamn Disney prince is in her store baring his goddamn belly at her.”
From The Firefighter